I attended a baptism ceremony last Saturday. One of my high school classmates is already a dad at 18. Over the same weekend, a friend and I were instant messaging. Out of the blue she suddenly says, “I have this classmate in high school who looked so sweet and innocent, you wouldn’t imagine that she has a kid now.”
Excitedly, I replied, “Me too! Ninang pa nga ako eh!” (I’m even a godmother!)
Of course, my friend doesn’t look sweet or innocent, but the point is, in one weekend alone, I’ve learned of two students just out of high school who are already parents.
My high school friends and I once promised one another that we would never forget to invite all our batchmates to our weddings and baby christenings. None of us ever expected that we would be making good on the promise only a year after we made it. I guess my friend didn’t expect to become a father so soon either.
Either teenage pregnancy is on the rise, or I was much too young or naïve to notice all the expectant teenagers before. It’s impossible for me to have written these young mothers off as mid-20s married people because they looked and acted mature. Obviously, contrary to what they must have felt at the moment, they were immature in the first place — that’s why they got pregnant.
Or maybe I never really paid attention to these girls with bulging bellies because I just thought they ate rice excessively or drank too much beer way too early — in other words, I thought they were just fat around the middle.
Kidding aside, I guess I never imagined young girls to be pregnant because I believed that these “accidents” cannot happen in real life. They’re the stuff of Hollywood blockbusters, and my friends, the youth in my particular age group, couldn’t be the stars of these productions.
Unfortunately (or fortunately) it seems I’ve been living in a happy bubble. I know now that things like this do happen in real life. Unlike the movie stars in the films, real teenagers can’t remove the pillow or prosthetic under their shirts and — poof! — the problem magically disappears, and it’s back to bikinis and beach parties.
The growing popularity of teenage sex and teenage pregnancy in TV shows and movies may have something to do with this apparent increase in unplanned bumps. Some of my favorite movies revolve around this issue (the pregnancies, not the sex!).
Juno is the most recent big hit with this as the main plot. One of my aunts saw it and she told my father to hide the DVD from me because I shouldn’t watch it. Intrigued, I exerted efforts to find the “censored” DVD (talk about reverse psychology) and watched it while my parents were at work. I loved it! I didn’t understand why my aunt didn’t want me to see it, and even after watching it, I still didn’t understand. It wasn’t the first film I’ve seen that depicted teenage parents.
One of the best of these movies is Saved!, which stars Mandy Moore, Jena Malone and Macaulay Culkin (that strange boy left Home Alone). It’s about a girl who had sex with her gay boyfriend to make him straight again. As a result, she gets pregnant. The movie involves religion, relationships with friends and family, and homosexuality. It’s hilarious, but it retains the gravity of these issues.
These are just two of many movies that have been made about teenagers who become parents. It’s a serious topic, but, as we all know, to get pregnant, girl and boy must first have sex — and that’s a topic that many youths want to explore.
Teenage sex in media is a great (though not necessarily good) influence on hormone-fueled teenagers. How could sex not be fun? is the main message being conveyed by Blair and Chuck on Gossip Girl. Bella has practically been begging Edward to do it since the start of the Twilight series! Skins definitely lives up to its name; it’s even more scandalous than Gossip Girl! These stories make you feel that you’re the only one who hasn’t experienced it, and makes it seem so enjoyable that young people are inspired to try it for themselves.
To take a quote from Britney Spears’ first and only movie, Crossroads (I’m not ashamed to admit that I watched and liked it!), “You know what it’s like for a guy to go to college a virgin? They’re ostracized! They treat them like lepers!”
Is this true? Would Filipino guys put a stigma on virgin college boys? I don’t think so. But, lines like this probably encourage or pressure boys into doing things that they are not ready for.
Sex is a natural part of life, necessary even. But, as Phil Collins sang, “You can’t hurry love, no, you’ll just have to wait.” There’s no need to rush, there are plenty of years ahead to experience making love and having babies (it even feels awkward just saying it!). It doesn’t have to be now.
Of course, there are those who can’t wait. Then, what are contraceptives for if you don’t use or don’t know how to use them? Pardon the expression, but it’s true what Benjamin Franklin said over 200 years ago: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. And abstinence is the best form of prevention! Why worry that you won’t get your monthly period because you did the horizontal tango with your boyfriend? Life is so much easier when all you have to worry about are exams, fundraising for new shoes, and getting rid of that pimple on your nose.
So, while I find my friend’s son absolutely adorable, I’m in no hurry to make one of my own, or practice the process either! For now, I’ll just enjoy studying, cleaning my room, popping my pimples, and begging my parents to buy me those new shoes. Oh, and being the doting godmother too, of course!