That meant as few text messages as possible, no newspapers, no radio, and no TV. I didn’t hear about the tragedy that occurred at Ultra until I returned home on Sunday evening.
Talk about a rude awakening. After a peaceful few days on the beach getting my energy back and dipping my toes in my beloved ocean I was once again lulled into the mind frame that life is sweet and that it’s all good. Then I make it home and I’m greeted with the headlines that over 70 people died in a mad stampede over the weekend trying to get into a game show in the hopes of winning a few prizes.
To say I was sad would be a vast understatement. After only a few minutes of reading the article the words already blurred as tears obscured my vision. What a senseless tragedy, an unbelievable loss of human life, and something that, if you ask me, could probably have been avoided.
But then as I sat and talked about it with my parents I came to the realization that sometimes no matter how devastating and shocking these events may be, simply put, when it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go and nothing can stand in your way. They say that your life has a meter and when the meter runs out no matter where you are or what you’re doing it’ll be time to check out… for good.
It was actually a scary conversation and as I thought the tragedy at Ultra along with several others similar to it like the recent bull tragedy in Pamplona or even the horrific terrorist acts of 9/11 a few years back, it just made me once again recognize how fragile and unpredictable life is and how no matter how cautious you are the grim reaper will find you when it’s your time no matter what you do. After all, you don’t expect an airplane to crash through your office windows on the 33rd floor, do you?
It was an eye-opener, and as I mused on my own delicate humanity I was once again reminded how important it is to enjoy each and every minute of your life for you never know when your next breath will be your last. As a matter of fact, these thoughts coincide quite well with the New Year’s resolution I’ve made for 2006, which I thought about over my birthday a few weeks back.
My New Year’s resolutions ritual is pretty formulaic and standard for me. Every year on my birthday (since it’s in January that’s what I consider my actual personal New Year) I think about all the things I want to accomplish during the year and how to "better" my existence. Then I normally put together a list of things I hope to accomplish. This list usually consists of a standard though pretty descriptive set of goals such as the usual "lose 10 pounds," "save more money," and "finish at least one novel a week," to name a few. Then as the year progresses I try to check them off as I do each one. (That is, if I do each one!)
This year though I’ve decided to try something different. No matter how good I believe it is to set definitive goals for yourself I’ve decided to toss out my regular New Year’s formula in favor of something far more general and open to discussion. Instead of imposing a physical or materialistic list of "must-do" on myself, I’ve chosen to focus instead on maintaining how I feel. This year, my goal is uncomplicated – it’s to simply be happy.
One of my best friends once called me "Rainbow Sunshine (a.k.a. Lollipop) Unicorn" (I’m Thai!) referring to how I can be such a cheerful person. And this year, I’m really making an effort to stay in that state of mind. I don’t pretend that no more tragedies will occur this year, tears will be shed, and I’m sure there will be sadness, but somehow I’m going to try to maintain a positive outlook. Looking back over the last five years I’ve noticed that I’ve wasted a lot of time being sad. Minutes, hours, days, weeks, and even months that I’ll never get back, stuck in a depression that, looking back, didn’t really solve anything anyway.
This year, no more time wasted. I’m making a conscious effort to be happy. Don’t get me wrong though, I haven’t completely eradicated the sad. I haven’t stopped crying. I’ve gotten into arguments. I’ve been upset. But, I’ve gotten through it and learned to be grateful for the many blessings in my life.
Time never stops ticking, and though sadness is a necessary part of life, what’s important is that we take away a lesson and learn from the misfortune. What happened last weekend in Ultra was a tragedy, a sad event that merits tears and prayers, but most especially it should serve as a reminder that life is precious and every single moment counts. Say how you feel, do what you want, dream big, laugh, love, and learn for we’ll never get another chance.
To borrow from Robert Herrick’s "To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time": "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old time is still a-flying; And this same flower that smiles to-day to-morrow may be dying…"