How Nemo beat Neo

It’s been a really strange summer. (Just in case you were wondering, I follow the American seasonal calendar.) With surefire hits flopping at the box office and summer sleepers getting their much-deserved attention, predicting the hits and misses has never been harder. The Matrix Reloaded, which was supposed to be the year’s most anticipated movie, was, shall we say, drowned by Finding Nemo; just another big shocker of the summer. Here’s a rundown of the summer’s many cinematic offerings and how they did, both commercially and critically; the hits, the misses, and the so-so toss-ups. I’ll also tell you everything Hollywood did right, did wrong – and what they should’ve done instead.
Hits
X2: X-Men United, arguably the best comic book movie ever, started out the summer very well. Opening simultaneously in a record-setting 80 countries on May 2, X2, in its opening weekend alone, earned $85 million in the US and another $70 million worldwide. And opening first also has its benefits, as the film thundered past the original’s earnings with a total gross of $215 million.

Though The Matrix Reloaded did do far less as expected, this disappointing sequel still took in $90 million in its opening weekend. But why, you say, wasn’t Neo, "The One," able to cross the $300 million mark as everyone expected it to? One word: originality. Reloaded didn’t live up to everyone’s expectations, and wasn’t as revolutionary and memorable as the first.

Bruce Almighty
was the film that, in Reloaded’s second week of release and over Memorial Day weekend, cut the Matrix sequel’s first week gross in half to just $45 million. Almighty debuted with $85 million, and after watching The Majestic, I’m glad to see Jim Carrey back to his forte. Almighty is Carrey at his finest, and one of the funniest movies of the summer.

And now, the summer’s ultimate smash, Finding Nemo. Disney and Pixar team up once again, reinventing the animation industry by creating the summer’s most original and funny masterpiece. Opening at $70 million and becoming the animated film with the biggest opening weekend gross, Nemo didn’t stop there, as it has now bested The Lion King’s $328 million intake to become the highest-grossing animated film of all time and the year’s biggest earner so far. And as I have said before, Nemo already has its Best Animated Film Oscar in the bag. Beauty and the Beast is the only animated film ever to be nominated for Best Picture, and though Nemo may have actually little chance of winning, getting nominated (something very probable) would open new doors for the animation industry.

28 Days Later
was one of the summer’s many indie hits and one of the "little films that could." Having taken in more than $40 million, the terrifying $8 million-budgeted film opened alongside Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle and proved to have much more staying power.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
could be, next to Nemo, the summer’s next huge surprise. It’s been about a decade or two since a pirate movie actually succeeded greatly both with audiences and critics, and so far earning more than $250 million and opening with generally positive reviews, Pirates has definitely broken the pirate-movie curse.

The first Spy Kids was a big hit, but with the second earning just about $70 million, the third one had to work. Surprisingly, Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over rejuvenated a fading franchise, and has just barely crossed the coveted $100 million mark. Filmed on a shoestring budget, writer/director Robert Rodriguez knew he had to do something special this time around, and I guess adding Sly Stallone and cardboard glasses did the Antonio Banderas-starrer well.

Seabiscuit
, based on Laura Hillenbrand’s best-selling book, was earlier named as the year’s first Oscar contender – but that was before anyone saw Finding Nemo. Still an excellent picture, the film, about an underdog racehorse and his jockey, has $90 million and is still going strong. And in a summer of giant openings and then second-week plummets (See: The Hulk), Seabiscuit only slipped 16 percent.

The British import, audience-pleaser and critic favorite Bend It Like Beckham, already a winner in limited release, finally hit more theaters this summer. The delightful comedy, after gaining momentum from good reviews, attention and publicity, has so far earned more than $30 million.
Misses
Many people, including me, enjoyed Down With Love, the retro throwback of the sex comedies of the ’60s starring Renée Zellweger and Ewan McGregor. But opening alongside commercial powerhouse The Matrix Reloaded, Down didn’t have much going for it. (It only earned a little more than $20 million.) It’s just too bad it wasn’t able to find an audience, because I truly fell in love with Down With Love.

In my summer movie preview last May, I said, though I knew From Justin To Kelly would be a train wreck of a movie, I was still excited to see it, being the big American Idol fan that I am. I was right, it was a disaster (it only earned $5 million), but I still stand by my credo of seeing it.

Hollywood Homicide
was once a surefire hit; it did star Josh Hartnett and the old, tired and crusty Harrison Ford. It had one major problem: its buddy-cop premise, an old, tired and crusty cliché often used in Hollywood. Homicide, in its opening weekend, netted in a paltry $11 million, was un-welcomed with harsh reviews, and was forgotten from reality a week later.

Opening with Homicide was Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd, the most moronic, critically slammed movie of the summer. The surprising thing is, audiences were actually smart enough not to go see it, as it opened with a tiny $10 million.

There was Rugrats the Movie, then Rugrats in Paris, and now Rugrats Go Wild!, when the Pickles meet the Thornberrys family, based on another Nickelodeon cartoon. Does the world really need another Rugrats movie? I guess not. (It only took in $11 million in its opening weekend.)

There were very high expectations for Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle: Demi Moore’s comeback, high-profile cameos, lots of hype and the first’s big box office intake. In one of the summer’s biggest shockers, the Angels did soar to No. 1 in its opening weekend, but, get this, it only grossed $37 million. This amount may be huge for some films, but with the truckloads of hype that surrounded Full Throttle, this was just puny. (I was expecting it to open at about $55-60 million.) Nevertheless, Full Throttle is just about $1 million away of crossing the $100 million mark, but considering the $125 million the first film earned, it looks like the Angels have lost their touch.

We always knew Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas would be disastrous; didn’t DreamWorks get a clue from their last year’s critically-panned Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron: 2-D animation is practically dead! They just wasted a talented all-star cast of Brad Pitt, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michelle Pfeiffer on a bland, uninspired story and got what they deserved: just $25 million and a theater filled with bored kids and their tortured parents, wishing they’d just seen Finding Nemo instead.

A huge budget, yet very little earned. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, on its opening weekend, was beaten by mega-hit Pirates of the Caribbean for the top spot, then started sliding down from there. Greeted by unanimously dismal reviews, this cinematic failure has only been able to earn less than $65 million, despite its huge budget.

Why make a sequel for Lara Croft: Tomb Raider? Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life may be marginally better than its predecessor, yet it’s still an all-out bore. And with only $60 million in the bank, compared to the first’s $131 million, it’s no wonder Paramount is blaming the videogame’s decreasing popularity for the film’s poor performance. Talk about taking responsibility for your own actions.

Bennifer (which stands for Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez) may be engaged (I’ll give ‘em about eight to nine months before someone files for divorce…) but they’ve recently entered rough waters: Ben’s rumored escapades in a strip club, Ben’s best friend and co-Oscar winner Matt Damon reportedly coming between them, and Gigli’s terrible performance at the box office and with critics. The critically-bashed film (again, it’s pronounced "Jeely" and rhymes with "really." Please don’t say it as "Giggly" as the MYX VJs say it. It opened at eight place with just $3.8 million, compared to its $50 million plus budget.
Toss-Ups
After Eddie Murphy’s horrible 2002 (he had three straight bombs: Showtime, I Spy and ultra-flop The Adventures of Pluto Nash, which was budgeted at over $100 million and earned less than $5 million), he has finally gotten a hit with kid-friendly flick Daddy Day Care, which took in $101 million. But that’s nothing to celebrate about, for it was bashed by critics and audiences alike.

So far, it has earned $130 million plus, a giant amount for some, yet for The Hulk’s budget and expectations, this isn’t enough. Opening with a less-than-expected $62 million and mostly good reviews, Charlie’s Angels snagged the Ang Lee film’s second week earnings by slicing its opening gross by a gigantic 70 percent, taking in just $18 million. Hulk smash, indeed!

The first Legally Blonde needed just a couple of million dollars more to be able to cross the $100 million mark; it was one of 2001’s biggest smash surprises. Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde, though it probably won’t succeed to challenge the first’s earnings, still took in a big and very close $90 million. It looks like last year’s Sweet Home Alabama is still Reese Witherspoon’s biggest hit; it earned $125 million.

Terminator 3:
Rise of the Machines proved that Ah-nuld can still attract audiences after last year’s terrible Collateral Damage, but hopefully not California voters (I, personally, would never vote for him). Opening at $44 million and has so far earned $150 million, T3 may be a hit, but it couldn’t surpass Judgment Day’s $204 million gross.

So that’s the summer movie summary. Now, what the studios did wrong. This wasn’t exactly a bad summer; in fact, it had a lot of good points. But it also had a lot of bad ones. There is one huge point of improvement: originality. Audiences want a story, and with all the sequels this summer, this was something studios overlooked. This was what films like The Matrix Reloaded, Hollywood Homicide and Sinbad ignored, which led to their box office demise, and what such movies as Finding Nemo, Pirates of the Caribbean and Bend It Like Beckham embraced. And so, now that summer has ended, it’s time to look forward to fall and the holidays, when Oscar contenders get released (yeah!) and even as far as summer 2004, when such films as Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (yeah, again!) and Shrek 2 will come out.
To Do List
• Watch Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Johnny Depp, in his best performance in years, stars as Captain Jack Sparrow in this fun swashbuckling adventure that’s taking the US by storm. Directed by The Ring’s Gore Verbinski, Orlando Bloom and Geoffrey Rush also co-star.
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For comments, questions and suggestions, e-mail me at lanz_gryffindor@yahoo.com.

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