Daddy Downs

The common thought of any Anthony Patch (eager trustfundarian of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Beautiful and the Damned) worth his bouncing check is that mothers give bauble heirlooms and fathers give trust funds. In a time where it’s commonplace for families to squabble over yellowing trust funds, it’s good to know that some fathers still find things to pass on to their kids that mean more than just a way to get a better condo.

Though some of these material things were perhaps bought, the memories that they bring to the ol’ man make them priceless. How it was bought, who gave it to them or how it was given. Some, however, are incalculable bits of history, tucked away safely to find themselves in the daylight of the future in their own children’s hands.

Just to prove how completely out of sync I am with the Men from Mars I initially began this story with the angle that consisted of garments that remind men of their experiences as fathers and what they would pass on to their kids. Men don't even remember their own birthdays, and sometmes – fatally – their anniversaries and wives' birthdays. What made me think that they would even remember what was musting up in their closets? Surprisingly, however, some dads were able to dig up treasures tucked away for their little tots. Most, as I have surmised, were great toys for the big boys. Then there were little thoughtful trinkets that surprised me and sure to melt the heart of even the toughest macho.

When it comes to hand-me-downs (daddy downs), you would think that it would consist of a few birds and the bees lectures, an inaudible mumbling on how to treat a woman and a hell lot of talk about sports. But I was proven wrong. Fatherhood does change men in a certain way. Maybe not in the Betty Crocker kind of way (though it does happen). It polishes the heart and makes them aware of their own mortality. They start paying attention to how they want to be remembered when they leave their loved ones behind. They become thoughtful and start paying attention to the most unexpected details in the woven fabric of modern dysfunctional living . They become regular Dolphys in their own little ways.

Families come in all shapes and sizes...and so do today’s fathers. Some are single, some fathers of children from different women, some married and some widowed. No matter what their situation is, a father will always have a little legacy to pass on. Proving that their ties are a little more than just a DNA combination.

When I asked each of the dads what was the one thing he wanted to pass on his child – it unlocked who they were and how they wanted their children to remember them. This remembrance, in a time of mind-inertia and ephemeral pleasures, is the best thing a father could ever give his child.

You’ll be surprised with what they chose.

Ricco Ocampo, president Astoria Group of Companies, for son Emilio:
When I thought about what I wanted to pass on to my son, I immediately thought of this painting that hung in my house. It is a Romulo Galicano, depicting a boy painting in Luneta. When I got it, I immediately thought to myself that I wanted to give it to my son. The silver shell was bought on a trip to Cambodia. My son loves the beach and collects shells. I just thought that this would be special.

Raphael T. Juan, president of Centro Manufacturing Corporation, makers of truck bodies for Isuzu and Suzuki, for son Elias Juan:
Everyone says I inherited my sense of style from my lolo, Minong Juan, who used to wear sharp, double-breasted suits and square-toed wing tips in the Fifties. I used to be fascinated with his belt collection – he had all kinds!

I got a lot of flack from family and friends when I started wearing slim-fitting shirts and flat-front trousers in the early Nineties. These days, I look for polo shirts with interesting details–pleats, embroidery, beading, which I get when I travel and from my friend, Andy Cruz.

At 16 months, Elias already enjoys dressing up. He’s the type of kid who willingly wears hats, necklaces, and spiffy new shoes. He loves trying on new stuff!

In my down time, I like things easy–just board shorts and a T-shirt. My wife and I don’t usually buy Elias’ clothes–he’s got a whole wardrobe full from his Lolo Sonny, Lola Charito, Lola Mely, and Ninang Mago and Trixie–but I couldn’t resist buying this one at Old Navy so that we can walk around the beach in father-and-son outfits.

One morning, as I was getting ready for a game of golf, I put on my checkered hat before I left the house. Elias saw me with my hat and had his yaya look for his. When he got it, he skipped around the house like a little Raffy.

Elias and I both like snazzy shoes. My wife and I have a matching pair of Le Coq Sportifs and we wanted to get one for Elias as well but we refused to spend $100 for them. My son got his own pair of snazzy, red Baby Gap rubber shoes from his Lolo Sonny. When he got these shoes, he loved them so, he refused to take them off! We got the matching shirts as a pasalubong from my mother-in-law. Although I don’t play soccer, I’m looking forward to the day when my son and I can play sports together. I can’t wait to take him to the driving range for his first golf lesson.

Raj Moreno, deputy financial chief officer of Liberty Telecom, for daughter Arianne:
The watch is the first thing I bought when I made money in the stock market when I was 19 years old. It’s my lucky charm.

Manila Councilor Kim Atienza for son Jose:
The Vespa is timeless. I won Felicia’s heart with it and I’d like Jose to win his future love with it as well.

Dino Aldeguer, PBL, International Container Terminal Services (La Salle team) and owner of Holey Trail Bike Shop, for son Luc:
For me, the most important thing a father could teach and give his child – especially with how great the struggle is today, so you can just imagine when he grows up – is something that will never change and will always guide him in his everyday walk. Lastly, my dream for my son is to learn to walk with Jesus earlier than his parents did.

Jing Monis, top makeup artist and hairdresser, co-owner of Propaganda, for Anton and Evan:
For the longest time I did not know that my mom kept everything. One day she casually presented to me a lock of my hair as an infant, I was shocked that she kept it all this time. The best thing I could give to my kids is what my own parents gave me. I never kept locks of my children’s hair when they were younger, so I am giving them this. It’s not only a remembrance from me, it also serves as sort of a reminder of the nature of my work and how I raised them. My son Anton gave me a metal bullet, he says that it symbolizes the strength of his love for me. The shirt is what I wore when Anton’s mother was being rushed to the hospital the day Anton was being born. One rule in our family is that you can never keep secrets, so when we have our family arguments, the kids slip letters under my door. Other times they simply let me know how they are doing, how they feel and each letter I kept. When the time comes for me, I want them to know that everything they said I know.

Shopwise EVP and general managerDonnie Tantoco for children Nicole, Camille and Christian:
The necktie printed with dogs was bought the week my son Christian was born, which was in the year of the dog. The ring is very special because it was chosen and bought for me by my Lola Glecy when we both happened to be in Paris at the same time. It is usually my grandfather who chooses our gifts so this has a special sentimental value. The Cartier Centennial watch is also special since it is a limited edition and perhaps the only nice watch I bough for myself.

Actor ALBERT MARTINEZ for son ALFONSO:
I want to give him my watch collection because it is something he can also pass on to his own children. It’s something that will survive time and generations.

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