I'm not sure if all of you are aware of the current campaign by a leading milk formula company that has the tagline (and hashtag on social media) "Best Starts with Dad." I became aware of it through my pro-breastfeeding friends and fellow mom bloggers. (You can read more about it here: http://www.chroniclesofanursingmom.com/search/label/violation)
The campaign is aimed at fathers, and is supposedly to help promote the use of powdered milk for 3+ and 6+ year olds. However, this same company also produces infant formula, and the term "best starts" itself implies "best beginning." Now, we all know (and if we don't, there's a plethora of scientific studies to prove it) that the best "beginning" for babies is breastfeeding. So, in a way, the "Best Starts with Dad" campaign, although it may - as the said milk company claims - have the intention of honoring fathers, especially on Father's Day, realistically speaking it undermines the importance of breastfeeding, especially from birth.
Now, don't get me wrong here - I'm in no position to judge anyone, especially parents who choose to give formula to their babies. BUT let me share with you a true story of how milk formula indirectly can become the source of lies and deception.
There once was a mother who gave birth to her third child at a hospital that is well-known as a "mother and child friendly hospital." She chose to give birth there, knowing that the "mother and child friendly" status of the hospital meant that it promotes breastfeeding and rooming-in, two things that she was bent on doing, especially since her two older children had been breastfed and roomed in not long after being born at a government hospital in what is considered a country poorer than the Philippines.
This mother had also informed her ob-gyne on several occasions; the last time was during labor, that she meant to exclusively breastfeed her third child. So imagine her surprise and dismay when the following incidents occurred.
After giving birth and spending a few hours in the recovery room, the mother goes to the nursery's breastfeeding room, and is given her sweet little baby. She is not that surprised that Baby is sleeping, as most newborns usually are asleep most of the time. She is shocked though when the nurse at the nursery says that her baby has just been fed and that's probably why she's sound asleep.
"Fed?" she asks. "With what?"
"Formula," is the answer she gets.
The mother immediately tells the nurse that she means to breastfeed so "please don't give my baby formula," she says. The nurse says ok and if that's so, it would be best for the mother to come to the breastfeeding room every 1 to 2 hours. The mother asks about rooming in and is told to wait for updates from her baby's pediatrician.
On her next visit to the breastfeeding room, her baby is still sleeping and the mother notices traces of milk in her baby's mouth. She is surprised again and speaks to the nurse present, only to find out that formula was again given.
Frustrated, the mother tells the nurse again that she means to breastfeed and is even willing to stay in the breastfeeding room so she can nurse her baby when needed. She is told by one of the nurses that staying in the breastfeeding room is not allowed unless she is actually breastfeeding, and to just return every 1 to 2 hours. The mother is surprised at the nurse's response yet controls her emotions and, as politely as she can, tells the nurse to call her on her mobile landline number if her baby seems to be hungry and she is not there at the breastfeeding room yet.
The next day, the mother speaks to the pediatrician (not their pediatrician of choice, but one affiliated with the hospital) and inquires about the hospital's policy on breastfeeding, as she is confused (and very disappointed) by her experience thus far. The pediatrician says that since the hospital is a mother and child friendly one, it should go without saying that they encourage mothers to breastfeed. However, since the mother said that her child was given formula without her permission or being told that it would be so, the pedia writes instructions on her baby's chart.
The mother also asks about rooming in and is told that it's also encouraged but because her baby is being treated (phototherapy for hyperbilirubinemia and antibioitics for sepsis) it would be better if she stayed in the nursery as it is a sterile environment.
The mother, thinking that the pediatrician's advice is an "expert" one and feeling assured that her efforts to breastfeed exclusively would be supported by the nurses, since there were already specific instructions, agrees with the pediatrician and, as before, says that she will just go to the breastfeeding room every hour.
However, since she was already frustrated by what had happened, she vented her feelings via text message to pro-breastfeeding friends, who relayed her story to a lactation counselor who had contacts at the Department of Health (DOH).
Within the day, DOH officials came to the hospital, in the guise of interviewing moms who had just given birth, but in reality, to interview the mother whose child had been given formula without her permission or doctor's instructions.
The DOH officials also did a surprise inspection of the nursery and were told that there was no milk formula at all there and all babies were given donated breast milk. They were unable to find any milk formula cans.
However, having interviewed the mother in our story, they said that they would look further into the hospital's claims to be "mother and child friendly," and advised the mother (and father) of the baby to keep their hospital records and receipts, since the father - upon checking their running balance for the hospital bill - was also shocked to see that they had been charged for a can of infant milk formula.
After the DOH officials had left, the mother returned to the breastfeeding room, and the nurses immediately asked her if she had been interviewed by anyone from DOH. Feigning surprise, she said yes and that they had asked her only generic questions. She then asked the nurses if they had stored breast milk in the nursery and they said yes but only for premature babies. "So what do you give full term babies whose mothers may not be here at feeding time?" she asks. "Formula," came the answer.
Upon her baby's discharge, the mother and father were given the can of formula which had been included in their hospital bill.
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I'll end our story here by asking this question: Who is wrong here? Were there any lies told? Was there any deception that occurred?
You be the one to tell me.
But let me tell you this: the story here? Mostly true, except maybe for the exact sequence of events. How do I know?
Because I am the mother in the story. And I was very frustrated - on the brink of despair actually - that what happened. Because I believe that our baby was not given a "best start" since our initial breastfeeding relationship did not get off to a good start. I may have some fault because I did not insist that she be roomed in with me but I still think that the hospital staff had a lot to do with our faulty beginning to breastfeeding.
As I write this, our baby is still recovering from all that has happened to her during the first six weeks of life (long story but those who read TrulyRichMom.com are probably aware of it). Sometimes the "what if's" still haunt me:
"What if I had been able to exclusively breastfeed her from the start, from the beginning?"
"What if I had insisted on rooming her in?"
"What if I had insisted on staying in the breastfeeding room, even sleeping on the chairs there, just so I could nurse her on demand?"
I'll never get the answers to these questions, and right now, it doesn't matter as much as helping our little girl gain the weight she's lost and get better.
But let me tell you this: my experience is part of why I don't agree with the "Best Starts with Dad" campaign. Many moms and dads, especially from the poorer sectors of society, can be easily influenced to believe that formula is part of their child's "best starts."
During my time in the breastfeeding room at the hospital, many first-time moms struggled with breastfeeding their babies and didn't receive the support I believe they should have gotten from the "mother and child friendly" nurses there. Many had already started mixed feeding their babies with infant formula. Again, I am not judging anyone here, but I believe that if they had gotten the support and advice they needed to breastfeed exclusively, there may have been a bigger chance for them to do so.
I know there are many factors that could lead a mother to choose formula milk (I almost did when our baby lost weight) but I also believe that we must not use deception or "stealthy" tactics to encourage mothers (and fathers, as the "Best Starts with Dad" campaign targets them specifically) to do so.
In fact, I couldn't have stuck to breastfeeding our baby (and her two older siblings) if not for the support of my husband. He's the one who encouraged me to nurse our kids, and pump my milk while we were still at the hospital, so that the nurses would not give any formula to our baby in the nursery.
So, to the milk formula companies out there, I know this may be a long shot, but please try to have a conscience, and market your products accordingly and legally, complying with the Milk Code.
And to the moms out there, I totally respect your decision to breastfeed or not, but I hope that you'd at least try to breastfeed. And if you don't, I'm not imposing a guilt trip on you, but I do ask that you not look at us pro-breastfeeding moms as people who feel "more superior". We are not one another's enemies, but our "enemies" (for lack of a better term) are those who purposely have us do what is not best for our kids, all because of the desire for profit and material gain.
What do you think about breastfeeding and "Best Starts with Dad?" Feel free to let me know on Twitter @tinasrodriguez or email me at tina@trulyrichmom.com.
Disclaimer: My opinions do not necessarily reflect those of philstar.com.