“Natural family planning? What’s that? And does it really work?”
These are probably some of the most common reactions or statements we get when people ask us how we spaced our two kids (Tim is turning 5 in October and Rysse just turned 2 last July). Those who are already in the know though can testify that NFP is the best way to go when it comes to family planning.
Our kids are products of NFP, just like Umbert!
What is natural family planning (NFP)?
Wikipedia defines NFP in the following way:
Natural family planning (NFP) is a term referring to the family planning methods approved by the Roman Catholic Church. In accordance with the Church's requirements for sexual behavior in keeping with its philosophy of the dignity of the human person, NFP excludes the use of other methods of birth control.
Periodic abstinence and the natural infertility caused by breastfeeding are the only methods deemed moral by the Church for avoiding pregnancy. When used to avoid pregnancy, NFP limits sexual intercourse to naturally infertile periods: portions of the menstrual cycle, during pregnancy, or after menopause. Various methods may be used to identify whether a woman is likely to be fertile; this information may be used in attempts to either avoid or achieve pregnancy.
Some people with whom we have shared about NFP, specifically the Billings Ovulation Method, are not too happy with the abstinence part of NFP/BOM. They usually say that “sex should be ‘available’ any time,” and that “we would be depriving the couple of pleasure which is one of their ‘rights’.”
Personally, statements like these really bother me. If a couple were in a deep commitment to each other, specifically in the covenant of marriage, then this should not be a problem. In fact, periods of abstinence should actually make their relationship even stronger.
If a couple aren’t married to each other, then in my opinion, they shouldn’t be having sex in the first place. It is really sad that more and more people are choosing to “live in” together, in the name of love and “sexual freedom.” Whatever happened to the virtues of chastity? What has happened to “true love waits” i.e. not having sex before marriage? (I think this actually deserves a totally different post! *winks*)
Abstinence is effective... except when God steps in, in the form of the Immaculate Conception! *smiles*
Anyway, going back to NFP, remember the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder?” I believe in this wholeheartedly, as hubby and I nurtured a long-distance relationship for almost half of the five years we were together as boyfriend and girlfriend (mostly due to different mission assignments for our Catholic community, where we both work fulltime).
United as man and wife: in heart, mind and body
When it comes to sex between husband and wife, this saying takes a different twist: “abstinence makes the heart grow fonder,” or more candidly, “abstinence makes the sex grow better!” I have seen this for myself, and the times when we do abstain from being physically united as man and wife are times when we are able to deepen our love and respect for each other. Besides, it’s not as if the abstinence periods extend for weeks or months! We human beings are surely more capable of restraining ourselves than other species right?
It is sad that many people are not aware of the benefits of Natural Family Planning, some of which are described below:
- The method is totally natural and does not involve chemicals
- It can be used to assist or prevent pregnancy
- Encourages shared responsibility by the woman and her spouse, which can enhance the relationship
- Enables a couple to be independent and in control of their fertility.
- Does not rely on regular cycles.
- Can be used at all stages of reproductive life.
- Is up to 98% effective against pregnancy, when used by motivated couples and taught by experienced teachers. (FPA 1995)
- It is inexpensive, convenient and is free of all side effects
*Quoted from the ACCORD website*
(More detailed explanations of the benefits of NFP can be read here, here and here. Also, read a young husband’s refreshing take on how NFP benefits marriage on his website here.)
With more and more people believing that contraceptives and sterilization are the best way to “control” the number of children they have, the very reason why males and females are divinely designed is being questioned. (Blessed John Paul II’s Theology of the Body makes for great reading material on the subject).
If only those who are pro-contraceptives / pro-reproductive health would share the truth with others:
Despite the current “bleak” situation though, I still have hope. I know that there are thousands of other people who are effectively using NFP (some are not even Catholic!), and believe that more and more still will be blessed by its message of nurturing life and love among married couples – as long as people continue to strive to share about it with others.
P.S.
If you’re interested to know more about Natural Family Planning, there will be a seminar about it this Saturday, September 3, 10am-12noon at the Medela House. For more information, please click on this link. You can also e-mail medelamoms@gmail.com or purepassionistas@gmail.com. (You can also read my article about it on Smart Parenting’s website here).
*Disclaimer: My opinions are purely my own, and do not necessarily reflect those of the organizers of the above-mentioned NFP seminar.