On social media ‘apathy’

MANILA, Philippines - Today, my Instagram feed was filled with pictures of a couple’s wedding — an occasion which, aside from being filled to the brim with love and joy, also had all the fine food and flowing gowns deemed appropriate for such an occasion. It is also the first Tuesday since Yolanda laid waste to Visayas. The date of this writing is 11/12/13. No doubt the couple wanted this particular day. Nobody knew what it would be coming on the heels of.

Maybe some people would have something to say about that. That the couple should have just donated the extravagant amount they used. Or maybe some would feel weird about others being so happy and sipping champagne, while many have resorted to taking whatever they can, driven by hungry stomachs and leveled homes. It doesn’t make emotional sense for the two experiences to be happening simultaneously in the same country, and yet they are. And all over the world, that’s how it always is.

Social media is wrought with mini versions of this. There is the grief, the searching for loved ones, the clamor to do what you can for those in need, alongside a makeup artist tweeting that today’s client has got to be the coolest one she’s had yet.

If my observations are correct, people used to be a lot more careful about posting the “shallow” and “happy” stuff at times like these. But it seems that lately, after one tragedy too many, they’ve begun to realize how constricting and straining it is to have to keep pretending that their lives disappear with the headlines. I see pictures of pets, scenery, vacations, friends meeting up in another country, comment threads on TV series, and radio talk show hosts announcing their landi-related topic for the night. And now, the once limply accepted, “Don’t be insensitive by posting the good life!” has started to be challenged by voices that seem to be fed up.

Birthdays and Weddings

“Stop saying it’s insensitive to post anything but Yolanda posts. It’s still someone’s birthday, anniversary, wedding, etc, and I’m not gonna fault them for wanting to celebrate it or smile about it,” tweeted @ericaparedes. And I could possibly be slapped for saying this, but I do agree. And I can agree because this doesn’t mean that people don’t care. We do, perhaps so much more than before, and we have the donation figures and demands for government accountability to back that up. I guess for a country where calamity has more or less become the norm, people are just tired of pretending that whenever tragedy strikes, that’s all they ever do and think about. The way I see it, all they’ve decided to chuck is the pretense.  And I’m assuming it’s a small relief when each one finds he’s actually not isolated on a parallel bimbo-verse.

Personally, I’ve found that being free to live my life as it is and to express it is what ironically frees me up to care about things that are painful and beyond me. On the contrary, when I feel obliged to hide or invalidate my current experiences, the more I end up focusing on all the things I can’t do or say. And then I start to resent that I can’t, even while I get that there is suffering infinitely greater than mine.

Simultaneous Realities

What I’ve been learning lately is that realities don’t have to cancel each other out, because they’re both real. They’re both happening simultaneously in the incarnate world. And we’re more than capable of paying due attention to both of them. We’re more than capable of seeing to both our comparatively more convenient but nevertheless important concerns and doing what we can to get our people fed. And why should there be more self-denial than is necessary when it is only through our lives that we can reach out and help? As fellow Supreme writer Gabbie Tatad put it, “If you were spared from the effects of Yolanda, you’re obliged not only to help, but to live your life as best as one possibly can.”

Do I think sensitivity still has a place in this world? Of course, I do. No one dreams of regaling typhoon victims with what they had for dinner. And if you were right in front of them, I’m sure you wouldn’t. But social media crosses locations, experiences, and ongoing realities. It also has that unfortunate feature of being both personal expression and indiscriminate blaster, and has become part of the way we experience things. You really are bound to hear everything that’s going on, at any given time. But I think there’s definitely a problem when what the non-hungry people are doing on Facebook becomes an issue to rival that of coming to the aid of those in dire need.

If you want to feed the hungry, and provide comfort to those who have been displaced in both the literal and the most profound of ways, then do so. If you want to hold our government accountable every step of the way, then do so. If you want to tell people what their Timelines ought to be looking like right now, well, I hope you’re not under the illusion that you’re doing anything else.

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Tweet the author @catedeleon.