Dear Nanay,
We are a middle-class family. I would say we are comfortable but we do not have money coming out of our ears. We still have to watch how we spend and be conscious of our budget. Our family is made up of professionals. For example, I am a program manager for one of the non-profit organizations of one of the big companies in Makati. So we are comfortable but still very middle class.
A couple of years ago, my sister married into a rich family. They have nice cars, a nice house and they travel all over the world, to the US and other countries in Asia. I must admit I am very jealous of her but of course I will never admit this to my parents or my family. I would like to have her lifestyle but I also know that I cannot afford it. I actually get very jealous when she comes home from a trip and has pasalubong for everyone. I wish I could be as generous as her and I wish I could be in her shoes. But I know that I will never be that rich so I am trying to make a name for myself at work.
In spite of this, deep down inside, I know that I am still jealous and wanting her lifestyle. Do you have any suggestions on how I can deal with my feelings? — Jealous Girl
Dear Jealous Girl,
I think you already know what you need to do and are doing it. As you said, you need to carve a name for yourself! You have won more than half the battle already. All that is left is dealing with your lingering feelings of jealousy.
Actually, I think it is perfectly normal for all of us to feel a little jealous of other people. And it does not even have to have anything to do with money. Maybe they have happier marriages. Maybe they get to travel a lot in their jobs. Or maybe even if they have much less than we do, they are just happier and more satisfied with their lives. As the expression goes, “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.â€
So it is not so much the feelings of jealousy that are important. It is what you do or not do because of those feelings. If you let those feelings turn into resentment for your sister or if you let those feelings drive you to do things that can be seen as undesirable, then I will be the first to say that you have a problem. But just having the feelings per se is not necessarily a bad thing. Try hard to be happy for her. Always remind yourself that you love her and that such luck could not have happened to a more deserving person. And in the end, why do you say that you will never be that rich? There is never any goal that will be too difficult to accomplish if you set your mind to it. Sipag at tiyaga (hard work and perseverance). Work hard and you might surprise yourself with what you will be able to do.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Dear Nanay,
I read your advice last week on how to stay active. I am not quite as senior as you but I am not far behind. I am 78 and although I am retired from work I still stay active through exercise, reading and even studying a foreign language.
I walk for one hour every day. I don’t walk that fast but I just take a leisurely walk around our village. I also read a lot of books (thank you, National Book Store!) and I even started taking French classes because it was my life long dream to learn to speak French. It is such a beautiful language.
So, you are correct, Nanay, in saying that the secret to longevity is to stay active. Both body and mind need to exercise so that we seniors can still be at the prime of our lives! — RJ
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