You know the clichéd roles: Rich girl rebels against sorority and dates loser, poor country boy gets corrupted royally by city, perfect husband/lover turns out a psycho, hardened lawyer becomes tenderized by morals, jaded detective gets blood circulation back in action as he stalks serial killer who kills rabbits and kids for fun and of course the good ol’ hooker with the heart of gold. Yes, these roles have come up in different incarnations whether to a peachy ingénue or to a silver screen icon, and being the children of the celluloid era we can’t help but feel compelled to play each role in the different phases of our lives.
However, in and out of the screen I can’t help but feel that the one who gets the silent Oscar year after year is the mopey dick. Nic Cage got his own niche in Hollywood without riding on Uncle Francis’ (Ford Coppola) high horse by playing a mopey dick. So did Sean Penn, Nicole Kidman, Halle Berry and all the frownies that celebrate the Academy Awards with a hit of botox after all the whimpering. Why do we love the underdog?
Maybe it’s about feeling superior over Nicole Kidman who will make more money than I ever will in two lifetimes with one movie at least for the next two hours? For actors it’s been said that playing the ugly loser gives them credibility, look at Charlize. But why do we lap them up?
Being a true blue Cherie Gil fan, I’ve always loved the contravida. In real life we all have been programmed to seek the right of way. To believe sex is not fun unless you’re out to make babies, Machiavellian tactics are bad, bad, bad, stealing boyfriends and job titles will land you a parking space in hell and maltreating cute and slightly tubby heroines (you know what tubby heroine I’m talking about and now-channeling Cherie Gil) is a sure way to burn eternally. In real life we aim to be good. Theoretically, good people lose sleep after a one-night stand (he has to call to make it right!). Good people go to therapy when they scream at video clerks on dope at midnight.
Good people feel guilty when they listen to William Hung (just because it’s an assault to their tastes and they’re making fun of him). So what’s the deal with movies?
Are we preprogrammed to root for the wawa bida? As a kid who did feel guilty about a lot of things, I still never understood why everyone preferred Ate Shawee to chic Cherie, Ate Vi to the bodacious LT (Lorna Tolentino for the uninitiated). Aren’t movies supposed to be an escape? I was more intrigued by the bitches because they were the women I was not allowed to be. It was implied that everything that they did, from boyfriend stealing to baby bartering, was bad, bad, bad.
It’s bad enough that in real life you have to deal with the neurotic prisses who press their shirts with their palm every time they stoop down to pick up something (what the hell is that about?), talk with a floral napkin lodged in the lower orifices of their face (this has been happening pre-SARS), and serving back every compliment like it were an insult with the deftness of Patrick Rafter.
So you don’t steal boyfriends (well don’t mean to anyway) and sell babies.
However, there is something to be learned from bitches. These goal-oriented wenches really do get what they want. According to Regal Films they may lose. And even Martha Stewart, the most famous domesticated bitch of all time, serves as a cautionary tale (fans however now see her as a victim). If you look at the most successful women of today – Hillary, the Lauder femmes, Kimora, Kris and blah blah blah – these chicks didn’t win the game chewing their nails to the quick. They kicked ass, played mind games even and with so much guts they won our hearts. Know that despite their hell-free pass ways there is much to learn from these evil women. Watch and learn.