Many people complain about their love life. They whine about emptiness and loneliness, distrust and despair. Realize that what happens in your life is mostly of your making. If you are loveless, it is because you are not doing anything to create a love-filled life. Love, like the air, is free; you may have as little or as much of it as you want. Everything depends on you.
In breathing, the air you inhale is equal to the air you exhale. The same is true with love. As the song sages Lennon and McCartney wrote, "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." But in truth, you always get more than the love you give away. Furthermore, here’s a little warning: love is an elusive butterfly. Hold it tight, it will die; hold it loose, it will fly.
Ah, love. Call it crazy, stupid, or a fool’s illusion. But those who have experienced true love (or a semblance of it) swear that it is the closest thing to heaven on earth. I would like to share with you two of my favorite love stories. I hope they would help you gain a little insight on the true meaning of love.
I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had a doctor’s appointment that morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, and that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired about her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s disease.
As I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?"
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is."
I had to hold back tears as he left. I had goose bumps and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."
True love is neither exclusively physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. – Author unknown
"I know you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise.
"But I love you!" I protested.
"I know, but you also love her."
The other woman my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years. The demands of my work and my three children had made it possible for me to visit her only occasionally. That night, I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
"What’s wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
"I thought it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us."
She thought about it for a moment, then said, "I would like that very much."
That Friday, after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the doorway with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s.
"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said as she got into the car. "They can’t wait to hear about our meeting."
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Halfway through the entree, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.
"Then it’s time you relaxed and let me return the favor," I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary, just catching up on recent events of each other’s lives. We talked so much that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed and kissed her good night.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home.
"Very nice. Much nicer than I could have imagined," I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her.
Sometime later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn’t be there but nevertheless, I paid for two plates – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant to me. I love you."
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying, "I love you" in time, and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot always be put off to "some other time." – Author unknown
"The reason most of us don’t receive enough love is that we don’t know how to love. We must realize that love has to be given first before it can be received. Read on and learn the secrets to becoming a truly great lover!
1) Be attractive and inviting.
2) Be the sunshine of your loved one’s life.
3) Look your loved one straight in the eye.
4) Know what turns your loved one on.
5) Be sensuous, sensual.
6) Have fun!
7) Be a good provider.
8) Communicate and listen.
9) Praise and compliment your beloved.
10) Make your loved one proud of you.
11) Connect spiritually.
12) Truly love him/her."