After all these years, I realized that my mom’s best friend is actually her lover. She and my father were fighting one evening and I overheard my father accusing her of being gay. And my mom answered that he drove her to it because she caught him womanizing. So, after all is said and done, I am so devastated because my idea of my parents as an ideal couple was shattered to tiny bits. Secondly, how can I go on in life believing what marriage and relationship should be if my own parents are in a private hell of their own making? My initial reaction was to run away from home, but that will not solve my problem either. My parents have been so concerned because I have been incommunicado lately. I have been locking myself inside my room, as I am not in the mood to face them. I don’t want to tell my two younger brothers who are so innocent and full of life. I am the only girl in the family and my dream of having a good marriage is now shattered. However, I don’t want to be bitter all my life and don’t want to ruin my chances with a nice man because of my father’s bad example. I have to pour this out in the hope of getting relief but still, I am in pain.
As one matures, there are facts of life that one must face bravely. Whether this discovery of your parents will affect your way of thinking and your decisions in the future, one cannot tell because we human beings are so complex and our behavior patterns could differ through the years. Take, for example, your parents. When your parents got married, they were in love and vowed to be faithful to one another. Unfortunately, things changed for them, but they managed to shield their children from the harsh realities of their union and kept a fairly happy home. If you did not hear their fight, you would still be a happy child with rosy dreams of love and marriage. You should realize that your parents are human beings with all the frailties of human nature and therefore deserve your love and understanding. If it would help, go to your school counselor and unburden yourself. If you have the courage to do so, have a heart-to-heart talk with your parents and tell them how you feel about the whole thing. Maybe this could strengthen their bond and help them reconstruct their relationship. There are so many couples who go through a lot of turmoil but manage to stay together because of the love and communication with their children. Your future is in your hands: You could end up a strong human being, an asset to society and the pride of your family, or you could ruin yourself because of this discovery. What road are you going to take?
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Keeping Private Parties Private |
I had a small dinner party recently and a friend of mine brought a friend whom I never met before but seems to know some of my friends. There is no problem there but a few days later, I got some phone calls from other friends who were not invited, chiding me that I had a dinner party and did not invite them and the information came from this woman. I was taken aback and didn’t know what to say. I think one should not freely volunteer information about dinner parties to those who were not invited to protect the host’s privacy. Am I not right?
It is the prerogative of the host to decide who to invite and friends should be aware that they cannot be invited all the time. However, in your case, the best excuse you could have given was that this stranger was brought by a friend and was not personally invited by you. It’s the truth and need not be concealed. But you are right. Guests should not voluntarily give information about dinners where other people are not invited to, especially if the dinner is small and intimate for two reasons: To maintain the privacy of the occasion and so as not to arouse envy or ill feelings in those who were not invited.
For your questions, write to Mayenne Carmona, Star Media, 6th floor, Jaka Bldg., Ayala Ave., Makati City.