What exactly is the rule on napkins? I know this is such a trivial question but I always heard my mom when I was growing up say "Put your napkin on your lap!" But when do we put it there, what do we use it for, and how long does it stay there? – Albert This piece of cloth has many rules attached to it. First, wait until the host unfolds his napkin before you do so – this signals the beginning of the meal. During business meals, it’s customary to wait to put your napkin on your lap as business may be discussed first. Always use your napkin to wipe your mouth before drinking so you won’t leave food on the rim of the glass. Your napkin remains on your lap until after the meal. If you have to get up from the table during the meal, leave your napkin on the chair so it doesn’t get in the way of your dinner partner. When the host puts his napkin on the table, that is the signal for the end of the meal. Put the napkin loosely on the table. You shouldn’t put it back in the napkin ring.
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A Shortage Of Marriage Material |
My boyfriend and I have been going together for five years and so far, he hasn’t proposed marriage. He has three children and I have four and he uses this as an excuse not to get married. He says the children will get affected, but I don’t agree with him as they are already grown-up: They’re in their 20s. He is quite wealthy and has been generous to me, but with marriage definitely not on his mind, I am thinking of breaking up and moving on. I am quite happy with him as it is, we have a lot of things in common but would like to legitimize my status. I’m in my 40s and modesty aside, I still look attractive to the opposite sex. Should I break up with him and look for marriage material? – Connie There is a shortage of marriage material in this country. Most men in your age bracket are married and the separated ones are not too interested in marriage. The single ones at that age are either eccentric or gay. Why leave your boyfriend if you are happy with him? Marriage is no guarantee for happiness and a piece of paper to legitimize your status will not ensure the perpetuity of your relationship. Just look around at the countless separated couples among people you know. If deep in your heart you feel the sincerity of each other’s love, then stick it out with your man. Who knows, he might propose one day. Remember the saying "A bird in hand is worth two in the bush."
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Her Honey Won’t Give Her Money |
I am 37 years old and living in London with my Swiss businessman boyfriend who is in banking. I gave this man six years of my life and a beautiful son. He takes care of all our household expenses and everything concerning our son but doesn’t give me pocket money for myself. I have to depend on the allowance that I receive from my parents so I can go shopping. My parents are well-off and give my siblings and me a monthly allowance which we are supposed to save up but in my case, I use it as my shopping money. London is an expensive city and I need clothes for our hectic social schedule. I always point out to him that I dress up for him, so I could look good in the bank affairs that we go to and as this, he has to pay for my clothes but he doesn’t listen. I am thinking of leaving him as I am fed up of not being financially supported. – Katherine Before you agreed to live in with him and give him a child, you should have asked him about the financial setup he has for you. You should have asked for a monthly budget for your personal needs, i.e. clothes, beauty parlor, medical bills, lunches with girl friends, etc. Even if you are not married to him, you are in the eyes of people his wife. In the US, under the circumstances you are in, you could ask for alimony if you leave him. Consult a lawyer as I am not sure about the laws in England. Let your live-in partner know that you are consulting a lawyer about your financial rights. He might wish to settle amicably and save your relationship.
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Planning To Quit Her Job |
I am working for a law firm in New York but not happy with my bosses. Many nights, I stay in the office till midnight as they give me a pile of documents to work on. But no matter how good I think I do my work, my bosses are never satisfied. I have not yet talked to my direct boss about my plan to quit, but I am looking discreetly around for a new job. However, I would like to know if I am entitled to some benefits when I resign. I have worked for this company barely two years. I don’t dare ask them as I don’t want to give them a clue as to my plan to resign. – Alice Based on my research, your two years on the job don’t entitle you to any benefit if you quit. However, if you are laid off, the company will have to give you some compensations like:
• They pay for your medical and dental insurance for at least a year after you are laid off.
• They pay for your unemployment insurance.
• They pay the fees of head hunters or career service advisers till you find a job.
• A lump sum severance pay equivalent to six months to a year of your monthly salary. It is best that you don’t quit. Ask to be retrenched so you can avail yourself of the above benefits.
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Borderline Kleptomaniacs? |
My 17-year-old daughter had two exchange students from Spain as part of the youth exchange program in their school. My daughter will in turn be hosted by their family in Spain. Problem is, when these two students were packing when their stay was over, our maid who was helping them pack found among their clothes some of my daughter’s clothes as well. I must admit that I spoil my daughter and buy her a lot of expensive clothes from top designers. I took matters in my own hands and decided to talk to them and get back my daughter’s clothes. They gave me a feeble excuse that they did not do it on purpose – they weren’t aware the clothes they were packing were not theirs. Did I do right in confronting them? I am afraid that when my daughter goes to Spain, they might do something untoward to her because of this incident. – Lillian Of course, you did right in confronting them. You should also talk to their parents via a phone call about what had happened. These young girls are borderline kleptomaniacs and should receive counseling. You could also explain to the youth exchange program coordinator what happened so they could look for another host for your daughter.