But we musn’t think such insidious thoughts.
Not when there’s an LCD screen mounted on the headrest of the front seats. Yesiree! Oh, what to watch? Pop in a VHS tape of Jurassic Park (or even South Park) and watch raptor (or Cartman, there’s little difference) wreak havoc in full surround stereo.
Man, you won’t have time to pick your nose when you’re busy wiping the drool from your mouth as you marvel at the mobile entertainment system that is your car.
New York (US, not Cubao, silly)-based Audiovox offers the best answer to the burning question on every long trip: "Are we there yet?" Well, not so much an answer as an anti-nagging device. Don’t admonish the impatient passengers – distract and amuse them into submission.
Now that wouldn’t be such a problem with the state-of-the-art line of gadgets that Audiovox can install in your vehicle to make it boredom proof.
Check out video monitors designed for multiple inputs. You might want to watch television or plug in a DVD player and open your own theater on the third lane of southbound EDSA.
How about venting road rage on a round of Tomb Raider on PlayStation? But don’t forget to pull over first, of course. Yes, you’re still in your car, baby.
Audiovox pioneered the car video revolution in the United States 25 years ago, and now stakes its claim to a hefty 35 percent of the market there. It also has the biggest range of mobile video products in the world.
What’s that? Blasphemy that a US company, not a Japanese one, holds the mobile video kingship?
Audiovox’s Jomari Ramirez explains: "Mobile entertainment is not a Japanese thing, so you don’t see Sony or Panasonic doing this. They focus on home products."
It actually makes a lot of sense. The average driver in the continental United States will do quite a lot of interstate travels. That means a whole lot of butt-numbing hours behind the wheel. Imagine the terrible boredom passengers have to undergo. Watching the tumbleweed do its thing gets tiring pretty fast.
What the Philippines lack in highway miles, we make up for in horrendous traffic hours. That’s even more boring, hence the need for sweet distraction (spelled E-N-T-E-R-T-A-I-N-M-E-N-T).
And perish the idea that a quality car entertainment system will cost you an arm and leg. Ramirez says that Audiovox can work with your budget – anywhere between P15,000 to P200,000, depending on how high-tech and eye-popping you want your setup to be. If you want a mean sound system sans the video monitor, that’s fine, too.
But for the rest of us boob-tube addicts, we now can be backseat couch potatoes. Audiovox can install the monitors in the dash, into ceiling pop-out consoles, behind the sun visor, to a stand on the floor, or behind the front-seat head rests.
So divine is the concept that Ford Motors in the Philippines has commissioned Audiovox to install a couple of head-rest screens for all its 2001-edition Expeditions. Nifty, very nifty. But owners of other vehicles – from the smaller bantams to minivans – need not worry. Audiovox will gladly custom-fit for you. The US-trained technicians of Audiovox will even go as far as to refit your aircon controls to accommodate your drive to luxury.
Do-it-yourself kits are also available for the so inclined. The store sells foolproof, easy-to-install console systems. For P38,400, you can get a five-inch TV (not an LCD monitor, though) and VHS player built into an upright console – perfect for your minivan. The best thing about these video gadgets is that they can easily be hooked up to your existing car speakers.
For people with the moolah to spare, the digital video age has certainly come into the car. You can purchase five-inch LCD screens for P22,000 and 6.8-inch ones for P35,000. Hook this up to Audiovox’s DVD players (which also play VCDs and CDs) and voila!
Other Audiovox toys for the car include MP3 players that can play up to 10 hours of digital music from a single disc, and CD players that pack 40 watts of power and have detachable face panels and LED thief deterrents.
More thief-wary individuals may take refuge in Audiovox’s Video-In-a-Bag – a self-contained VHS player and video monitor in a handy pack. This may be slung over the car seat for backseat viewing. If it’s time to park, then it’s time to pack up as well.
Go even more high-tech with a rearview sensor and camera. A screen set up on your rearview mirror gives you an unencumbered view as you back up. This particular piece of tech will set you back P30,000.
Slowly, your car is starting to look like the business class section of your favorite airline. The only grumbling you’re bound to hear is from the idiot who wondered where the stewardess went.