MANILA, Philippines — For the past 22 months, we have been confined to our homes, in the company of only our immediate families, in a way like no other. What an opportunity to reconnect, to really get to know each other on a deeper level!
If you have the desire to make the most of this time by having meaningful conversations, but struggling beyond the usual “How was your day?," you are not alone.
Sometimes our dynamics with the people we are supposed to love the most leaves us wondering how we can find new ways to get to know the people they have become, and for us to let them see us as persons and not as roles. As extended families gather together for the first time in months this coming Christmas, consider banning anything to do with COVID or politics from the dinner table (anyone in violation can be penalized with giving money to a pot to be raffled off to the “rule-abiders” at the end of the night. But, beyond that, what else is there to talk about? How can you create an opportunity for grandma to connect to her millennial “woke” grandchildren?
TableTopics
Three Christmases ago, my daughter gifted us with a curious item: a well-packaged acrylic box with 135 question cards from the company TableTopics.
Its website says, “What started as a personal passion for great conversation has blossomed into America’s most popular conversation game. TableTopics Questions to Start Great Conversations are the award-winning conversation starter sets that help millions of people spark fun and meaningful discussions with their family and friends around the dinner table, at parties, on road trips – wherever!”
The rules are simple. One person draws a card from the box and everyone gets an opportunity to answer it. Or that person can choose someone else at the table to answer, but they also must answer it themselves. It has let to many AHA moments at our home and birthed many other follow-up conversations.
The company has since won many awards for best gift and have been featured among several talk shows and celebrity lists as one of the best gifts to give. From its original edition, TableTopics has since expanded into 24 different categories, including Family, Children, Couples, Girlfriends, Teen, Trivia, Dinner, Party, and Friendship.
Sample questions include:
- What did you get into trouble for the most when you were young?
- Which is more important intelligence or common sense?
- If you could do something dangerous just once with no risk what would you do?
- What family or school rule would you most like to change?
- If you could shop for free at one store, which one would you choose?
- Which teacher from your childhood do you most appreciate?
- What are you most proud of that you’ve done this year?
The Hygge Game
The following year we were gifted (by the same daughter) with The Hygge Game.
According to its website, “Hygge is “Scandinavian” (Danish really) for enjoying the good things in life. It´s a feeling of togetherness, well-being and coziness, and there’s nothing more hygge than sharing a good time with friends and family.
The Hygge Game is all about bringing people together, getting friends and family to share stories and discussing the big and small things in life. This game has more than 300 entertaining, interesting and thoughtful questions designed to spark cozy conversation, and create the right atmosphere for an ultimate hygge evening. Why not follow the Scandinavian example and bring more hygge into your life? The Hygge Game is a great gift, perfect for a night in, a party or a dinner with friends or family.”
This was a hit, too, and we are still going through the questions. Among our favorites are the following:
- Which actor would play you in the movie version of your life and why?
- What expensive activity would you like to try or do if you could afford it?
- What two things would you grab if your house was on fire, assuming your family, pets, phone and computer was safe?
- What compliment have you received and never forgotten?
- Name something that one of the people sitting next to you is good at.
We have enjoyed taking turns answering the questions on the cards and I have personally gifted them in succeeding years. The response has been wonderful — truly an opportunity to go beyond the usual and really create conversations that change relationships.
Create your own!
Order TableTopics or The Hygge game at Amazon.com — or create your own from a Google search of “conversation starters," or from the sample list above!
And remember, in connecting with anyone, anyplace, ask open-end questions. These questions cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no," which generally prompts a simple answer. Open-ended types of questions usually begin with these words:
- How did you…
- In what ways…
- Tell me about…
- What’s it like…
Enjoy your conversations!