"Well, look who’s talking?" retorts the poor piglet.
And in the next corner, another voice whispers: "Oh, Claude, dear, do not bother with that gander and that swine. Both are no good," says the lamb curry. "Look at them, they are both Chinese and yet they fight over you, instead of sharing you. I am meek and humble, so I cannot tell you how good I am, especially if taken with freshly baked naan bread straight from the tandoori oven. We lambs believe that self-praise is a disgrace."
"Nonsense," says a voice from another corner, the cold section. "Why not have me, a fresh, living food? I will do nothing but wonders to your body and health. I am crisp, just picked from the garden this morning, still with the morning dew, and my ever loyal family of fruits makes me taste even sweeter."
I cover my ears like the madman-genius John Nash, who was played by Russell Crowe in the movie A Beautiful Mind, tormented by the conversations only I seem to be hearing.
"Can you hear them?" I ask Mary Ann.
"Hear what?" she asks.
"The food talking and fighting for my attention," I said.
"Gosh, are you that hungry?" my wife asks. "You are hallucinating and now, you think not only all the women but even the dead animals and plants want you!"
I get even more confused.
"Take me, take me!" call out several voices from the different corners of the buffet. Then, the sight of the glistening oysters, winking at me seductively, the crisp thin-crust pizza, fresh out of the brick oven, the juicy prime rib carving, the red-orange and black-spotted tandoori chicken and naan being molded and baked on the spot in the tandoori oven, and the tall swirling chocolate fountain, they all make me drool even more.
Believe me, even I who am used to buffets, and not a bad chef at that, get confused when offered many choices. As my Darleng often says, "Life is difficult when you have so much choices." At times, forced-to-good is the best option one can take. It’s a go-for-broke situation. It’s all or nothing!
And so, it was at the Seven Corners Café at the brand-new Crowne Plaza Hotel along Ortigas Ave. where Mary Ann, her friend Marichi, and I found ourselves one time trying its dinner buffet.
Crowne Plaza, which belongs to the same management group as InterContinental Manila and the Holiday Inn, opened its doors just three weeks ago. As you step into its lobby and restaurants, the smell of the clean, new and fresh is so inviting. Its well-trained staff has the warmth, enthusiasm and passion that I hope does not diminish in the coming years.
As what I always do when tackling a buffet (my battle plan), I go around the hall (cursory inspection) and check out all the items on the spread, taking down mental notes. I discard from my choices the cannot-have, like the crabs, prawns, or even the very red-orange lobsters, because I am allergic to them. In a way, this is good because it narrows down my choices. However, I will also take note of how much fat or aligue they have and how they’re cooked so I can report to my Commander what’s in store for her, knowing how she very much loves crustaceans.
Next on my list are the won’t-have, namely those that I call fillers, such as all the bad carbs – white bread, noodles, pasta, mashed potatoes, creamy soups, etc. – as well as the likes, such as beef stew (yesterday’s leftover carving is today’s caldereta) or recycled dishes. They fill up space on the buffet table and your stomach. As my friend chef Myrna Segismundo puts it, it’s value-for-money after all, not volume-for-money. (By the way, chef Myrna recently launched her second cookbook, Philippine Cuisine.)
Then, I look for my all-time favorites, like oysters, duck, lamb, lechon. (A lechon is a lechon you might say, but I tell you, there are good ones and bad.) Again, I make a mental note of what to go back for, but along the way, I also am on the lookout for new and unfamiliar dishes that are not de rigueur in most buffets.
So, that night, I started with oysters. They were very tiny but very fresh and proudly from our very own Cavite. True, imported oysters are big, creamier, and red-tide free, but I personally prefer local oysters (especially the ones from Capiz, which are sweetish but redolent of the sea nevertheless) because the big ones are just too rich for my taste. (It is like swallowing a big lump of phlegm. Yuck! I warned you I am crazy). Nakakaumay! After I had a plateful of oysters, which I always eat with a squeeze of lemon and a dash of Tabasco, I went for the duck liver ravioli soup from the Chinese noodle section. Now, this is new for me, and with every bite of the ravioli, the richness of the foie gras explodes in your mouth like melted chocolate truffle, making me squirm for more. Nakakakilig sa linamnam! It is the recipe of chef Cyrille Soenen, the undisputed king of foie gras, dating back to his days at Prince Albert Rotisserie of the InterContinental Manila, and now executive chef of the Crowne Plaza. The raviolis were filled with chunks of duck liver and dunked in piping hot Chinese broth with some greens. With some Chinese chili sauce, this Franco-Chinois concoction was truly memorable and worth coming back for.
Not wanting to offend anyone, next on my plate were the suckling pig, roast goose, and a ladleful of the lamb curry. Surprisingly, they all harmoniously fared well with a newly baked whole wheat naan bread. These passed the discerning taste buds of my Commander, having lived in Hong Kong for close to 20 years, and who is my constant reference when it comes to Chinese and Indian cuisine.
And trying to appease the living corner, I got some Caesar salad and a few slices of the salmon sashimi, which were more or less quite regular in standard. Chef Cyrille admits he’s still in search of a good chef to expand the Japanese corner to feature not just sashimi and sushi, but tempura, sukiyaki, soba and teppanyaki as well.
Saving room for dessert, I vaulted back to the first corner (it’s actually the first station you’ll encounter as you enter the hall) where the brick pizza oven is. You’d think I’ve really lost my marbles having a pizza for dessert, right? We’ll, here’s the French in chef Cyrille working again to his advantage: He concocted a thin-crust chocolate pizza, topped with banana slices and almond chips. With the chocolate fountain and crepe station just across it, it was too tempting not to succumb to smothering the choco pizza with more chocolate sauce from the fountain and drizzling with raspberry compote. And if you’re still up to it, make it a la mode with a scoop or two of the homemade ice cream. It’s a knock-out of a combination.