Dear Nanay,
I have a suspicion that my husband is having an affair with our maid. I do not have any evidence; just call it woman’s intuition. When I hear them talking or when I see them together, it is as if they are more than friends. Isn’t it improper for the boss and the maid to even be “friends,” much less more than friends? What should I do? I still love my husband and we have two children, ages 14 and 12. But what they are doing is not right.
Dina
Dear Dina,
If you can do it, I think the best thing to do is have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. You need to clarify all your issues and communicate with each other. Otherwise everything you do may just be a temporary solution. You can ask the maid to leave and hopefully that will end things, but that doesn’t mean your husband won’t have an affair elsewhere. You need to get to the root cause of the problem.
You can mention to him that you have seen them together and even if you have no real proof, their actions speak louder than words. Alalahanin mo lang na ang importante ay magusap kayo nang maayos. (Just remember that what’s important is to talk to him civilly.) Don’t accuse him right away. Talk to him when you are both calm. Mahirap magusap nang matino kapag nagaaway kayo. (It’s hard to have a proper talk when you are quarreling.)
You need to bring all these issues up so that you can work together on clarifying them. It is not easy. But you have to do it. Otherwise the problem may just fester and get bigger and bigger as time goes by.
If you cannot do it alone, then maybe you have to ask someone to be an intermediary for the two of you — a friend, a relative, or even your parish priest. Para lang may “referee” kayo kapag hindi na kayo nagkakasundo. (Just so that you’ll have a referee in case you’re not getting along with each other.)
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Words Of Encouragement
Dear Nanay,
I was touched by the letter of EM published March 9 because I have been experiencing the same situation. I have three children, all of them are boys, and I am proud that my husband and I raised them well. They grew up to be fine gentlemen and they are all professionals now but still pursuing postgraduate studies. My eldest son is now an Ed.D. candidate, my second son is now a teacher pursuing his masteral studies and writing his thesis, while my youngest is going to be a second-year law student in Manila.
Gusto ko lang po ipaabot kay EM na maging matatag ang loob (I would just like to tell EM to have courage), more sacrifice and lots of prayers. The bright future of your family is coming your way!
J
Dear J,
Thank you for your letter, sympathy and words of encouragement for EM.
Many times, it makes it easier to go through the trials of life knowing that you do not have to go through them alone. It keeps us strong to know that there are many others who have had the same difficulties we have and have succeeded in conquering the same challenges we now face.
Sabi nga ni J, kaunti pang sakripisyo (As J said, a little more sacrifice) and lots of prayers!
Sincerely,
Nanay
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