Dear Nanay,
I am a single mother with a 10-year-old daughter. I have been offered two different jobs. One is low-paying, but it is for a multinational company with very good training and experience and good long-term potential. The other is a high-paying job but I do not really know how much I will learn and what the long-term potentials are. So I think this is a case of short-term vs. long-term. Which option do you think I should take?
Maya
Dear Maya,
The first question you have to ask yourself is, “Do I need the money?”
If you need the money because you have a daughter or have some other expenses to pay for, then no question, take the higher-paying job. If you think you don’t need the money so much or can make do with the lower salary, then maybe you can consider taking the lower-paying job for the long-term benefits it might give you. Depende na lang iyan sa pangangailangan mo (It all depends on your needs).
One other option you can consider if you need the money today but want the long-term benefits of the lower-paying job is to take the high-paying job for now. Tapos mag-ipon ka muna (Then save up first). After you have saved some money, then perhaps you can go back to the low-paying job for the longer-term benefits it might offer you.
And besides, how do you know that the higher-paying job has no long-term benefits? Or that the training is not as good as in the lower-paying job? Surely you will also gain experience there and who knows, you might find that it is just as fulfilling for you. If that is the case, then this job might offer you the perfect combination of a high-paying job that gives you fulfillment and happiness. Being paid well for doing something you enjoy. How can you beat that?
Sincerely,
Nanay
* * *
‘Houseband’ In Need
Dear Nanay,
From the time I was married to my wife 10 years ago, I was always a “house husband.” It was always my wife who went to work while I would stay home with our two children. Last year, my wife met someone else and this led to our separation. The kids were left with me. I now have to work and it has been very difficult for us to make ends meet, but I am too proud to accept child support from my wife who left us. But it is very difficult for us and I still want to give the best to my children, of course. Do you think I should just swallow my pride and accept the child support even if it is really money I do not want?
Mario
Dear Mario,
Unfortunately, I do not think you have a choice.
At the moment, it does not sound like you have the luxury of choosing. I do not think you can afford to let your pride take precedence over the good of your family and your children. Consider yourself lucky that your wife is even offering child support. And consider yourself even luckier because money is being given to you. How many people are out there doing everything they can to make ends meet but are unable to? They have no alternatives. And here you are, with money landing on your doorstep and you are refusing? It may be a different story if you can afford to raise the children on your own. But if you cannot or are having difficulty, huwag mo na tanggihan ang grasya (don’t turn down grace).
Besides, if you think about it, the children are as much your wife’s as they are yours. It is good that she acknowledges that and is voluntarily giving child support. So for the benefit of the children, do what is best for them. What is the harm to you? Your pride? That is nonsense. Swallow your pride! You have to do what is best for your children. Be more practical.
Sincerely,
Nanay
* * *
If you have a question, e-mail us at asknanay@nationalbookstore.com.ph or just drop your letter at drop boxes in all National Book Store branches nationwide.