Dear Nanay,
I just got a job in a company and realized that my boss is drinking heavily and is always drunk at the office. I try very hard to cover for him but I am afraid that it will negatively affect his family and his professional life. I do not think anyone else knows about this yet. Should I tell someone, maybe his boss or his wife?
Nancy
Dear Nancy,
Maybe the first thing you should do before you tell his boss or his wife is to talk to him.
Make sure he knows that you are only talking to him because you care about him and his welfare. You can start with something like, “Sir, ’wag po sana kayong magagalit (I hope you won’t get mad) but I would like to have permission to speak freely…”
If he gives you permission to speak freely, then you can tell him — in a very nice way — that you are concerned for him because parang (it seems) he is drinking a little too much. Tell him that you are doing your best to help and to try to compensate in any way you can, but that you can only do so much and may not be able to keep the secret indefinitely. Tell him that you need his help so that you can also help him.
Make sure you don’t condemn him for what he is doing. I don’t think he needs a lecture. Siguro alam naman niya na hindi tama yung ginagawa niya. Pero malamang, may dahilan rin kung bakit naman niya ginagawa pa rin iyon. (He probably knows that what he’s doing is not right. But chances are there’s a reason why he’s still doing it.) If you can open the discussion in a cordial manner, you can encourage him to seek help. You can also take the opportunity to remind him about the dangers of excessive drinking to his health and maybe his career. But you have to always sound supportive and on his side.
If still no change occurs, then maybe you should consider telling his wife. But I would advise you to think about this move very carefully because your genuine concern might be misinterpreted as meddling or pakikialam. Kaunting ingat lang. Mahirap maipit sa gitna ng problema na hindi ka naman bahagi at hindi mo naiintindihan. (Proceed with care. It’s hard to be caught in the middle of a problem you’re not a part of and don’t fully understand.) You have to know your limits.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Should She Make Up After The Breakup?
Dear Nanay,
My sister, who is 24 years old, had her heart broken by her ex-boyfriend, who left her six months ago. Now he is here again and trying to win her back. He claims that after the breakup, he realized that he really loves her. Should she take him back?
Erlinda
Dear Erlinda,
Kung mahal pa rin niya yung ex-boyfriend niya, tanggapin niya. Ganoon ka-simple iyon. (If she still loves her ex, she should take him back. It’s that simple.)
As a matter of fact, it might be better this time around because they have both had time to think about their relationship separately. After all the time and pain have passed, if they both decide that they still want to be together, eh, baka eto na nga talaga (maybe this is it for them).
So if she still wants him, then welcome him back with open arms. If she decides na ayaw na niya, eh, di goodbye na dapat kaagad (that she doesn’t want him, then she should immediately say goodbye).
Sincerely,
Nanay
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