Dear Nanay,
I have been an obedient daughter all my life. I have helped my family, from preparing meals to investments and the family business.
But I am suffering from burnout. Now, at 50, I realize that I need to live my own life. My parents, now in their mid-80s, expect me to take over the family business. What about plans for my own life? Although late, I think I still have lots of chances to get married. But my parents are bent on having one of us children take over their business, especially because they have already put a lot of money into it. Unfortunately, they expect that person to be me. It will break my parents’ heart if none of us will continue their business. But it will break my heart if I let them live their life through me.
Therese
Dear Therese,
It is not mutually exclusive for you to live your own life and run the business that your parents are leaving behind. You can do both. Even after you get married, you can still run the business and be your own person. And if it is making good money, then it will provide you with a great source of regular income!
You’re lucky that you have a business being given to you that is doing well. Tanggapin mo na! (Accept it!) It is so hard to have your own business and it is even harder to have one that is making money, and this is being given to you on a silver platter! Wow! You should be thanking your parents! Besides, you have already put a significant amount of your time and effort into it. Diba sayang rin kung papabayaan mo? (It would be a shame to let it all go to waste.)
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Best Friends But Not Forever
Dear Nanay,
I had a friend whom I met when I was still at my previous job, where he is still working. Every time I had a problem with my family, my job or my personal life, I would always tell him and he always used to listen. He is not only my best friend but like a brother as well. Every time he used to celebrate his birthday, whether he had something prepared or not, he would invite me to go to their house even just for snacks. But I noticed that he didn’t invite me the last time. I greeted him and he replied that he didn’t invite me because he had nothing prepared. But one of his colleagues told me that they went because he invited them. We have not even had regular communications since April. Is he still the best friend I used to know?
Walter
Dear Walter,
I suggest that you still maintain your friendship with him. Wala naman siyang masamang ginawa sa iyo. (He didn’t do you any wrong.) Maybe he just forgot to invite you to his party. Maybe he could only invite so many people and had to make the difficult choice of who not to invite. Maybe that gathering was just for his officemates and nahihiya lang siya sa iyo (he was embarrassed) so he didn’t tell you. For all you know, that person who told you that he had a party was not telling you the truth. You never know! So I don’t see anything wrong with staying friends. Kaya lang, baka nga hindi na kayo yung best friends na inaasahan mo. (But you also might not be the best friends you once were.)
This is where you have to be careful, because your expectations from your relationship may not be the same as your friend’s. The best thing to do may be to talk to him. Just so both your expectations can match what you are both willing to put into the relationship.
But even if he is no longer your “best friend,” don’t feel so bad. It is not the end of the world. You will meet others who are also nice and will be good friends to you. Who knows? Maybe you will meet someone better!
It takes a long time for a true friendship to develop. It takes many years and many trials before you realize whether or not a person is really a true friend. And it is those friendships that you must really fight for and try to keep for life.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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