What to do when your friend becomes your boss

Dear Nanay,
My best friend and I work for the marketing department of a large multinational. My friend recently got promoted and is now my boss. I am worried that work will get in the way of our friendship and I’m actually thinking of moving jobs or departments. What should I do?
– Mayet


Dear Mayet,

I do not think it is necessary for you to move jobs and sacrifice your career just because your friend is now your boss. The first thing you have to do is to accept that she is now your boss and a few things may have to change.

Kahit pagalitan ka niya, amo mo pa rin siya (Even if she reprimands you, she’s still your boss). Think about why she got angry; perhaps you really made a mistake. Baka akala mo tama yung ginagawa, mali pala (you might be thinking that you’re right, but you’re not). Be humble and accept it. It’s always better that someone corrects you so you don’t repeat your mistakes.

My advice is that instead of being worried about the possible downside, look at your friend’s promotion as a blessing, not just for her but for you as well.

Think about it. First of all, if you are doing a good job, there is absolutely no reason for her or anyone else to question your commitment and capability. You have already earned the trust and confidence of people even before she got promoted. So there is no need for you to feel insecure. If you are afraid that she might become more demanding of you than others to show that there is no favoritism, then you should work even harder to make yourself and your friend both look good. Show everyone that your friend is right in having confidence in you. Exceed even her most demanding expectations and no matter what your detractors might say, you can look them in the eye and say that you have earned all the benefits that you are reaping because of your hard work.

And best of all, this is your opportunity to really work hard. Since your boss is your friend, she can probably help fast-track your career. But remember, you have to prove how good you are so that she can help you; you cannot expect her to recommend you for promotion just because she is your friend. Give her something to work with. Patunayan mo ang kakayahan mo para matulungan ka rin niyang ma-promote (Prove your worth so she can help you get promoted as well).

Sincerely,
Nanay
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When Marriage Issues Are Brought To Work
Dear Nanay,
I am a manager at a fast-food chain. Two of our employees recently got married and I am now having problems with them. Whenever they have a fight at home, they bring it with them to work. When I get mad at one of them, the other’s performance suffers as well. They are both good employees and hard workers but their personal problems and emotions always get in the way. What should I do with them?
– Mark


Dear Mark,

This is really an unfortunate problem that sometimes arises out of what is a wonderful event. Unfortunately, some people are better than others when it comes to working with their spouses. Some people can do it and some people cannot.

I think the easiest thing to do would be to transfer one of them to another department or branch so that they don’t have to work with each other every day.

Mahirap rin para sa iba yung magkasama kayo sa bahay tapos magkasama pa kayo sa trabaho (It’s difficult for some couples to be always together at home and at work).

What I would do is talk to the two of them and explain how things are getting in the way of work. Be straightforward and tell them of your plan to transfer one of them to another branch so that everyone can work in harmony. Ask them for their inputs. After that you can talk to your HR department to help facilitate the transfer. If they are good at what they do, then try to make sure that the person being transferred will be doing the same work in the new branch. I think if you are honest with them they will understand the situation and won’t harbor any ill feelings towards you.

Sincerely,
Nanay
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If you have a question, e-mail us at asknanay@nationalbookstore.com.ph or just drop your letter at drop boxes in all National Book Store branches nationwide.

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