In those times, we didn’t really have electronic guns with lights and effects like they have today. The most hi-tech guns we had were those with those long plastic bullets that have suction cups in the end – you know, the ones that you spit on and when you shoot onto the forehead of a friend. Our guns back then didn’t really make any loud gun-like sounds, just a simple clicking sound, that’s it.
So we had to improvise, using our own voices whenever we had to shoot someone. I had an M-16 so I would go, "Ratatatatat!" My Korean friend Ming Goo had a semi-automatic rifle so he would go, "Tgshhhhh, tgshhhh!" Then there was Arthur, my Singaporean friend who had a .45 pistol, and he went, "Pakowww, pakoww." My other Korean friend, Jae Whang, had a rubber band gun so he just went, "Twoing, twoing!"
The idea was to attack and advance sneakily towards enemy lines. It was interesting because then, we were just following the "honesty system." Whenever we would spot an enemy, we would shoot at each other, and it would be a wild exchange of gunfire. If I felt that I was able to hit one of my friends while he was running, I would shout and claim a hit, "Hey, Jae, I got you!" Jae would deny to the high heavens and shout back, "No, way, man! I was running! You couldn’t have hit me!" This game went on for years.
After a while though, we gave up on the game because it was becoming an exercise in futility. We would shoot at each other, but we would just run away and deny that we got shot. We were all trying to win – and win at all costs.
After a couple of years, I shifted to basketball. I would play pick up games with my friends with no referees officiating. So we basically called our own fouls. I used to have a friend who would call a foul on every shot attempt. Sometimes, I would be guarding him a mile away, and he’d take a shot, miss and then shout, "Foul!" When I told him, "What the?! I didn’t even touch you! I was just standing here!" he’d just quietly take possession of the ball and point to an imaginary red area in his forearm where I supposedly hit him. Then I’d reply, "OK, let’s get a forensics expert and let’s dust your forearm to check for my fingerprints! Geez!" The game would continue but I wouldn’t let him get away with it. I gave him a taste of his own medicine: I would call a foul even when I was just in-bounding the ball, call a charge when I was defending him, and call a foul even when he was going to the water fountain to drink.
But I had to. I wanted to win, and to win at all costs – even if it meant cheating or not following the rules.
I used to think that the cliché "It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game" was pure baloney invented by losers who were trying to justify their loss. Over the years though, I realized that in this world, you win some and you lose some. The world’s greatest winners – Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Michael Schumacher – they all lost at one point in their lives. I’ve realized that it’s really not all about winning. It’s really how you play the game that counts.
But in business, I still see people who have this to-win-and-to-win-at-all-costs attitude. I know that there are a lot of businessmen who don’t declare their right taxes. Most of them have two books of accounts. It’s almost a given. Of course, they’re probably doing that because the tax system here is so suspect, but that’s another issue altogether. Fact is, they will cheat, if only to get ahead in the game.
And then there are men out there in the corporate world who – in order to close a transaction or in order to get on a client’s good side – "treat" his male client with a girl who will go to bed with him, if only to ensure that they close the contract. If you’ve done that in the past, let me ask you, "Did you eventually get the deal? Yes? Did it make you feel good afterwards? If it did, then I pity you. If you regret it, good. There’s still time to change."
The thing is, winning isn’t everything. Why would you throw away everything you’ve ever believed in, everything that you value just so you can win? Is it the money? The power? The fame? If you always try to win, but end up losing your principles, and worse, your soul, is it really worth it? Do you feel good giving your wife a gift, knowing fully well that you got the money to buy it from the client who paid you handsomely for the nice "treat" you gave him?
Lately, we have been seeing a lot of political rigodon going on. This politician bolting out of this party, this Congressman bolting out of the opposition to join the administration, this Senator bolting out of the administration because he/she has no chance to be the standard bearer, this politician supporting this actor because he will surely win, etc. What we’re seeing, ladies and gentlemen, is a classic case of people wanting to win – and win at all costs. Never mind the principles that they stood for. Never mind whatever moral stand they made in the past. Forget the virtue of loyalty. Forget the importance of standing up for what’s right. What matters now is that in 2004, they have to win – and win at all costs.
And it doesn’t matter anymore what principles they are fighting for, or what platform of government they are espousing. These people (a lot of them at least) just want to make sure that they are with the winning group – even if the winning group doesn’t have a clue on how to run this country, and even if the winning group is affiliated with politicians who have already screwed up in the past.
So, the question is, are you going to vote for a guy just because he or she will most likely win? Will you support people who support other people because they know they will benefit from the victory of the latter? Are you the type that would try to win – and win at all costs? Think about it for a moment. You know, winning isn’t always so great. Because when you win, everyone is out to beat you and bring you down. And that could be the worst feeling in the world.
Look at the greatest people in the world – Our Lord Jesus, Mahatma Gandhi and Ninoy Aquino. If you look at their lives, it would seem that they lost the game. But it was precisely their willingness to lose, specifically their willingness to lose their own lives that made them great.
So, you want to win? Sure, go ahead. Do your best and always try to win. But do it within the rules, and always follow your principles. In my book, if you win, but compromise what you believe in the process, you’re one big loser.