Sen. Loren Legarda & Leandro Leviste: ‘Lean’ on me

MANILA, Philippines - He was born when his mother was juggling her roles as TV host, news anchor and graduate student. He was in his mother’s womb when she interviewed the MNLF in Maguindanao. He was in a stroller when she took her oath as lieutenant colonel at Malacañang.

Today, at 20, the rosy-cheeked Leandro “Lean” Legarda Leviste is his mother’s rock. And his mother is already a Gibraltar in herself — Sen. Loren Legarda, who will most likely make history for topping the Senate elections thrice (in 1998 and 2007; and in 2013, if the surveys are accurate).

A single mother of two young men (Lorenzo or Lanz, 23, and Lean), Loren, for all her strength, also sways when buffeted by cruel winds. And she finds herself turning to Lean for support.

Why is Lean your rock, I asked Loren during the eve of Mother’s Day, when mother and son are enjoying a quiet lunch with Loren’s second mother, “Nanay” Fely Bagayas. (Nanay Fely took care of Loren, 53, Lanz and Lean since the day they were born.)

“Because he is there. At 20, he has wisdom. He literally provides me with strength, he embraces me when I’m crying. When I feel bad, he would say, ‘It’s OK, Mama. I love you ‘Mao’.”

“I call her Chairman Mao,” explains Lean. (Loren says it is because she is now the head of the family, her marriage to their father having been annulled.)

Lean is an incoming junior at Yale University in Connecticut, taking up Political Science. He was president of his freshman class, and was elected secretary of the Student Government in his sophomore year, the only non-American to be so elected. He finished his classes early in order to fly home to Manila to be by his mother’s side during the campaign, in the process giving up a bid for president of the Student Government.

The eloquent Lean, who hopes to be a lawyer someday, is stumped for an answer when asked to describe his mother.

“I should have been prepared for this question,” he replies, his eyes actually glistening. “Sometimes, the simple questions are the hardest… My mother is exceedingly caring. I think the passion and dedication that she puts into her own career, she also puts into her role as a mother. And I don’t think people who are not in her family can see that. Even in the middle of the campaign for example, there was a time when I felt a pain on my chest and my mom cut all her appointments and brought me to the hospital. It really shows what her priorities are.”

Lean’s chest pains frightened Loren because in September 2009, he was confined at the ICU for a congenital lung ailment. In the three days that her youngest son was at the ICU, Loren never left his side, and slept on a hard bench, just like all the ICU bantays.

“In life, as I said, nothing matters, except family, good health, peace of mind, the happiness of your children. All the trappings of power position, competition, wealth, they don’t matter. When I was in the ICU, all I did was pray, ‘Lord God, please, please, heal my son’.”

No ‘Tiger Mom’

Growing up, Lean says his mother was never a “Tiger Mom” to Lanz and him.

Loren, whose late mother Bessie was never a so-called Tiger Mom, either, recalls, “When Lean asked me sometime ago, ‘Mommy, what’s your ambition for me?’ I answered him, ‘You know son, my ambition for you and your brother is to have good health, to have peace of mind, to be happy.’  He said, ‘After all my talents, for all my hard work, that’s all you want for me?’ I said, ‘Son, I’ve been there, done that. I’ve been pained, I’ve been hurt, I’ve had many blessings, at the end of the day, that is what matters most’.”

Lean shares: “My mom hasn’t been pushing us to work hard in school. She prioritizes our happiness. Good health. She wasn’t a Tiger Mom at all. She led and taught us by example.”

She was also very honest and transparent with her sons.

“It’s not easy to come from a family that eventually split up and eventually have your marriage annulled. I explained to them that no life is perfect, and the best way to raise your children is by setting a good example. That even when my life is far from perfect, that while I’ve stumbled along the way as a teenager, I’ve made mistakes, I’ve tried to correct them legally and professionally and personally. I hope and pray that they will not commit the same mistakes I did, but sometimes the tribulations and sufferings make you stronger. I could tell them that it’s part of life. And I always tell them, love and respect your father no matter what. It does not change their love and respect for me.”

“ I think when you’re young, any change is hard to adjust to, but I learned early on that change is the only constant thing in life and learned to adjust anything after that. Obviously it was very, very hard,” Lean admits.

Mother and sons were and are very fortunate that Nanay Fely is always there for them, plugging in the leaks when their ship occasionally runs aground.

“Nanay, she’s more than just my lola. I felt the meaning of love through her more than anyone else because when you think about it, we’re not even her kids, we’re not even blood relatives but she loves us more than anyone else in the world, more than her own family. She really puts us before herself,” Lean says tenderly.

Nanay Fely is “my partner in life,” says Loren.

“When her kids would leave her behind, when all her relatives would pass away, Nanay will be there with her,” Lean says of Nanay’s devotion to his mother.

“When my mother passed away, my Nanay was there. When my marriage was annulled, Nanay was there. When my sons left for abroad, my Nanay’s still there. When I lost two elections (2004 with FPJ and 2010 with Manny Villar), my Nanay was there. And I live by her advice, ‘Huwag mong hangarin ang hindi para sa iyo. Huwag mong ipagpilitan ang hindi para sa iyo. Tanggapin mo bagaman masakit’,” Loren confides.

But at the end of the day, Loren is really the rock that anchors her home and keeps her sons grounded.

“She’s exceedingly caring,” repeats Lean. “When I’m abroad, she still calls me to ask if I had eight hours of sleep, if I took my vitamins, how my homework is. Even when my brother and I were growing up, she would make it a point to go home and have dinner with us, ask us how the day in school was, just like any other mom.”

Looking lovingly at the woman he calls “Chairman Mao,” Lean smiles and says, “At the end of the day, she is a lot more an ordinary mom than what people think. She is a mom first before a politician.”