Weight loss isn’t just a game of "numbers." Social support plays a big part. If you are supported by people who encourage you, you will be better equipped to handle the ups and downs of weight loss. Friends, family and co-workers can help motivate you.
They, however, could also use a little support for themselves. The changes you’re making may indirectly affect them. Your slim figure may create jealousy among friends; your increased self-confidence may be threatening or overwhelming to co-workers; a husband or wife may feel insecure about your new body especially if they are also trying to achieve the body or fitness level they want but haven’t yet.
Here are some suggestions to keep everyone on your side so they can give you positive support.
• Tell them about the benefits of your new lifestyle. Your new-found confidence will make you more appealing to clients. Because you feel better about yourself, you’ll definitely look better and have great energy in dealing with other people. How you view yourself will always have a big effect on how others view you, too.
• If you feel that co-workers are envious of your new slim body, share how much better you feel. Tell them that they too can achieve that. Encourage them. Share with them what you did and are still doing for your body, for yourself.
According to Debra Waterhouse, RD, author of Outsmarting the Mother-Daughter Food Trap, some of our mothers’ comments may reflect her own insecurities and attitudes towards food and weight. So:
•Have an open and frank discussion about eating, weight and dieting. Does she see food as an expression of love? Most people who cook consider food an expression of their love and concern for their children. If this is so, not wanting to eat your mother’s home-cooked meals may seem like you’re rejecting them.
Be open with her. Explain that you need to eat a certain way because you need to be more healthy. Better yet, tell her to be the one to cook your healthy meals so she doesn’t feel left out. I bet she’ll feel great knowing she will be a major contributor to helping you look and feel better. Tell her how much you appreciate her being on your side. • Listen. Listen to what she has to say. You will probably benefit from her comments if you look at them objectively. If she says she thinks you’re losing too much weight too quickly, assess that. Be open to the possibility that she may be right.
I know someone who lost so much weight, her husband didn’t approve. She later found out that he was afraid she might leave him after she lost weight.
Here are some tips to help avoid these feelings:
• Introduce changes slowly. Be sensitive to the fact that his lifestyle is changing, too, because of your decision. You may want to eat fresh fruits and vegetables but he still yearns for those days when you shared a pizza with everyone or had chips with beer and soft drinks. Rather than force your eating habits on him, be a bit more accommodating and understanding. Go to the pizza parlor with him, either order a light meal or have pizza but in a smaller portion.
Respect his adjustment process. For all you know, little by little he will join you and your new found eating habits.
• Make realistic requests. Tell him exactly what you want from him, like asking him to keep the oversized bag of chips out of the house or to join you in your walk after dinner.
You may want to go for a jog but maybe he isn’t physically ready. It will just frustrate him. Go easy. You can do that when he is ready. You need to be sensitive to him, too. Remember that whatever changes you will make will not only affect you but your partner as well.
• Provide support. If your partner seems to be reacting negatively to your progress, find out why. He may be threatened by your weight loss, or maybe he’s worried he won’t measure up physically, that he may be left behind, not being able to keep up with you.
If you feel this is true, reassure him that your body may be changing but not your love for him. If he is insecure with that, he will not feel negative towards your new lifestyle.
• Introduce your kids to healthier food. Kids will more easily switch to healthier food if you eat them yourself. Now if can’t refuse your children’s asking for cheese curls or other chips, just buy them in single packs so as not to have so much of them. They can have such food once or twice a week. That’s better than having them everyday. Everything should be taken in moderation as I always say.
• Try and find time to relax or sleep. With so much we need to attend to, all the stress may or can lead to emotional overeating. To be more in control, we need to recognize our body’s need for time-out. We need to satisfy our needs. Nap time, a manicure, a bath, a foot spa, a massage every so often is needed.
• Get them involved. Invite a friend to a new class at the gym or ask them to help you cook a low-fat meal. If they want to lose weight like you have, be their training partner. Tell them you want them to be the best they can be.
• Emphasize your common interest. You can’t and shouldn’t always talk about your food diary or your progress. It can be irritating. Try and keep food out of the relationship for a while. After you’ve both adjusted to the changes in your friendship, it will be easier to talk about that.
When you’re more confident about the changes you’re making, everyone else will, too.
(E-mail the author at babyjackster@yahoo.com)