MANILA, Philippines - If children are our hope for the future, surely the numbers point to a bleak tomorrow.
One in three Filipino teenagers smoke, three in five youths as young as 12 drink alcohol, one in four ages 15 to 24 engages in pre-marital sex, and teenage pregnancy incidence is at a high 50 percent. Drug abusers have grown from 20,000 in 1972 to 6.7 million in 2004.
It doesn’t take a genius to ascertain the cause of the societal malaise — an obvious breakdown of the family unit. These dire figures generally reflect a failure of guidance and, most surely, communication.
On its face, Monde Nissin Corp., maker of snack products and Lucky Me! instant noodles and seasoning, endeavors something simple enough – to see Pinoys return to the halcyon days of eating together at the family dining table.
“We wanted this advocacy to reach every Filipino family,” says Rizza Cajucom-Uy, Monde Nissin marketing director, of the advocacy that was launched in 2007 as Kainang Pamilya Mahalaga (Family Meals Matter).
Even Malacañang apparently sees the importance of eating together. P-Noy’s Presidential Proclamation 326 declared every fourth Monday of September to be Kainang Pamilya Mahalaga Day, a regular reminder for families to experience and enjoy the benefits of shared mealtime moments.
The advantages are not merely psychic, either. Studies of Columbia University’s Center for Addiction and Substance Abuse prove that the more time children dine with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink, use illegal drugs, and indulge in early sexual behavior.
Conscripting the help of noted inspirational speaker, author and financial guru Francis Kong, Monde Nissin recently released Famealy Matters: 50-plus Stories of Everyday Intimacy at the Family Dining Table.
“There have been lots of changes in the eating habits of most families I know,” Kong (who collects the stories) tells The STAR. “Whereas before, the challenge was to get the kids’ attention and get them together to eat, now you have competition coming from external and internal sources. External meaning the pace of technology has driven the kind of life we have right now so everyone’s busy; internal because even when the kids are there, they are isolated with their gadgets.”
Cajucom-Uy adds in an exclusive interview: “Other than the usual TV campaign and the parenting talks that Francis Kong has been doing as our partner, we wondered how else we could get people to hear our message.”
An anecdotal volume about people’s experiences during family meals, Famealy Matters offers itself as another channel for conveying the virtues of dining together.
“People will hear from the contributors (who come from all walks of life) how much they enjoy and look back on memories at the dinner table. They will realize how simple and yet very effective it is in instilling the right values — making everyone happy, feel loved and have a sense of belonging,” she continues.
Contributors to the book include Vice President Jojo Binay, Edu Manzano, Leyte (fourth district) Representative/STAR writer Lucy Torres-Gomez, GMA 7 chair and CEO lawyer Felipe Gozon, ABS-CBN Publishing president and CEO Ernie Lopez, Chris Tiu, entrepreneur/TV host Edric Mendoza and Kris Aquino.
“We all have hectic schedules, but we make it a point to eat together at least once a day,” writes Binay. “On Sundays, eating together after Mass — at home or in a restaurant — is a steadfast family tradition.”
This is not an isolated occurrence, insists Kong, who maintains: “In this book, what we found out was that a lot of successful families make it a rule not to have gadgets open when they’re having meals. The keyword is to be intentional in having precious moments spent at the dinner table.”
He continues: “If this works for successful families, why don’t we multiply this and hope that the book can form some kind of awareness or movement and really encourage people no matter how busy they are that nothing is more important than spending time with kids at the dining table?”
Department of Education secretary Bro. Armin Luistro observes: “Our specific translation for meal is salu-salo. No Filipino really eats unless he shares with someone.” It is thus no surprise that problematic kids are those that never or rarely shared a meal with family.
For Cajucom-Uy, it’s about setting priorities straight. She says she works long hours and has a long commute to boot — which meant she rarely interacted with her two kids (11 and six years old) during weekdays.
She realized the irony of working hard without “not actually building my family.” She forced herself to sleep earlier so that she could wake up early the next day. She nixed the bus service, and brought the kids to school herself.
She and her husband also made a decision to have more frequent family meals with a new paradigm. “How long does a family eat — maybe 45 minutes? What’s 45 minutes without gadgets on the table? You need to disconnect to connect,” Cajucom-Uy says. No TV, no calls unless urgent, no books or toys at the table, and no getting up unless everyone is finished. Replacing these are pleasant talk and fervent prayers before and after meals.
Kong’s three children are adults, and he treats them accordingly. A busy man who holds some 300 talks a year, Kong insists that their family meals are picnics in his bedroom. “When we come together, I stop being a trainer. I stop being a father; no more sermonizing. I start working as a facilitator — asking them questions, getting them to tell their stories. I become more of their friend, more than anything else… When you eat food, it’s supposed to make you feel better, right? Let them associate it with pleasant memories, rather than seminar time.”
Who would have thought that breaking bread at the family dining table would have such far-reaching consequences? Think about it the next time you have a meal with your loved ones.
“Hopefully, one family at a time, we can help Filipinos build a strong nation,” concludes Cajucom-Uy.
So by all means get this book. Just don’t read it at the dining table. But you know that already.
(Famealy Matters: 50-Plus Stories of Everyday Intimacy at the Family Dining Table is available at National Book Store, Powerbooks, or through Anne Cristobal of Success Options Inc. (727-0291, 0920-9253348, or successoptionsinc@yahoo.com.)