Sa’kiy may nagtanong kung ano’ng kaibahan
Ng balut sa penoy na mapagkakilanlan,
Sagot ko’y meron sulat lapis karaniwan,
Pag wala ay balut, pag meron penoy naman.
At kung gustong maniguro ng lalantakan,
Basagin mo ang itlog at iyong tunghayan,
Penoy, tulad ni P-Noy, madaling malaman,
Buhok n’yat balahibo ay kakaunti lamang.
Ngek! Excuse me po sir at nagbibiro lamang,
Penoy nga’y walang buhok kung sa totohanan,
Malinis na malinis parang puti nga lang,
Napaganda pa nga’t ‘yay iyong kalooban.
Kaya ‘yung iba d’yan ay inyo nang lubayan
Si pareng P-Noy sa sports car n’yang second hand,
Bisyo lang n’yay music; mahilig sa rakrakan
At “Guns N’ Porsches” ang favorite daw n’yang rock band.
Welcome to the Jungle o Sweet Child of Corazon,
Matuto kang mag-Tarzan sa maraming leon,
At sana wish ko lang pagdating ng panahon —
Magiging First Lady mo ay hindi second hand.
At kung sakaling mangyari’t dumating na ‘yan,
Isang bagay lang ang inyong maasahan,
Dahil ang Presidente’y ‘di na kabataan,
Si P-Noy puro balut na ang babanatan.
At may pahabol pa na pagtatalunan —
Balut ba daw o balot talagang pangalan;
Gayon din sa tungkol kay P-Noy na sasakyan,
“Pors” ba o “Porsya”: Ano ba’ng katotohanan?
Hoy ‘wag nyo nang problemahin ang tamang bigkas,
Mahalaga’y may gamit hanggang sa magasgas,
Basta isa ay okay hanggang napapa-gas
At isa’y garantisadong nagpapatigas.
* * *
A surefire source of amusement for the hosts of Eat, Bulaga! is the Pinoy Henyo portion of the show. I call it “laughs from lapses.” As I look back, here’s my winner from among the numerous funny and amusing “rallies” between the members of the contestant teams of last year.
It was between a husband and wife duo during the week where we featured a Pinoy or Pinay with his or her foreigner partner. In this case, a Filipino wife with her American hubby from Michigan. In our rules, the local half would be carrying the Pinoy Henyo word on the forehead and would be asking for clues. The foreigner partner would just be answering with “oo, hindi o pwede” (yes, no or maybe).
The word assigned to them was tuyo. The two-minute time allowance expired with the American just answering “hindi or no” to all his wife’s questions. Tao? Bagay? Hayop?Lugar?Pangyayari? Lahat ‘yun hinindian! Eto matindi — pati Pagkain hinindian pa rin.
The wife looked puzzled and worried towards the closing seconds. But at this juncture, too, the American was looking more perplexed and problematic as if waiting for something else. Immediately after the time limit, Vic and I asked if he was really familiar with the word in front of him. He nodded with confidence and certainty. We even asked if he had tried it. He again said yes. Then we asked what tuyo is and his response triggered a “blastimonium” in the studio. It dried us up laughing. His reply: Soy Sauce! Ngek!
* * *
“Shopping Daldal” — This means shop talk. Just used it because it reminds me of something funny Si Apeng Daldal. Remember him?
And here’s the good news for shopaholics especially those visiting Tokyo. In our most recent Japan break, we discovered a mecca for compulsive shoppers which I now consider the Disneyland of outlet stores in the whole world! Exciting talaga! It’s a huge shopping town. And what really makes it doubly exciting is that you have a full view of the magnificent Mount Fuji. Yun na!
Ngek! Kitams, because of my sobrang excitement, I forgot to tell you about the name of the place. It is called Gotemba Premium Outlets.
And here’s another something funny that happened on the way to Gotemba. As the bus from the Shinjuku Station rolled out, Eileen asked the kids, “O, mga four hours na shopping ito. Papano ang galawan natin?”
The two boys, Jio and Jako, quickly replied simultaneously, “Kay Daddy ako!”
Then Jio followed up with, “Basta ako dadalhin at bubuhatin ko ang mga pinamili ni Daddy!”
And without a gap, Jako quipped, “Ako? Bubuhatin ko... si Daddy!”
* * *
More Shopping Daldal: Puregold Extra A. Bonifacio in Quezon City is already opened. All in all, Puregold has 63 stores already and will open more stores this year. Congratulations, Vincent Co!