'Let's Play Jumping Pope'

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates — Although I was just about four and a half meters away from the spot where the shocking jumping on and taking down of Pope Benedict XVI happened last week, I did not tackle about the Pontiff and this Vatican incident in my column last Sunday, simply because that woman in red already tackled him. Ngek!

But according to some, this lady meant no harm to the Holy Father; she was just playful — she just wanted to play “jumping Pope.” Ngek!

You want some more? Well, she liked jumping Bens. Ngek!

Or maybe, this young Italian lass, Susanna Maiolo, was into drugs that time — Susanna in the highest! Ngek!

Maiolo … pero maitama. Ngek!

Pero seriously, to-its na ootot — the Prefettura Della Casa Pontificia gave out limited tickets for the Dec. 24 Mass and Eucharistic celebration to be presided by His Holiness, Santo Padre Benedetto XVI. It was called SOLENNITA DEL NATALE DEL SIGNORE. I had 10 tickets — six for my family and four for the family of my old friend Bong Serra. Bong used to be the executive producer of the television show Okay Lang, where yours truly met the Sotto brothers. It was our very first TV show and it also starred the APO Hiking Society. Bong’s family now resides in Chicago and we just met up in Rome.

The Holy City was wet that day. The temperature was zero. The seats in the Basilica were not numbered, so first come, first served rule. The doors were opened to the ticketed guests at exactly 8:30 p.m. But I heard, people started lining up as early as noontime! Ngek! Bong said they lined up at 5 p.m.; we lined up at six and I guess, by that time, about 6,000 people were already ahead of us. I believe the chosen few were only about 7,000 or 8,000.

But some of these chosen few had their chosen pew — you would think that the first guests to enter would rush in and position themselves in front and nearest to the altar, but no — they all jockeyed for a place close to the aisle where of course, the Pope will walk through and be just about their reach. Everybody was armed with a camera s’yempre.

Eto na matindi — Of the thousands of ticketed people of different nationalities who gathered to celebrate Christmas Eve Mass at the Basilica Vaticana, I got a seat in the same row where the Pope attacker was positioned. Ngek! To be exact, I was just eight seats away from her! Ngek ulit! We were both in the fifth row from the last. Ngek pa ulit! Yes, I counted.

According to my own investigation, she definitely lined up early because she had an aisle seat. And I also believed that she couldn’t wait long to make the jump. She even placed herself in the last rows on the left side of the Basilica going in, directly in front of the direction where the Pope will make his entrance turning right going to the altar. Eksakto talaga. Ayaw n’ya nang patagalin. Gusto n’ya — first come out ng Papa, jump agad!

Then it happened — at exactly 10:05 p.m. The rest is on TV.

By the way, seated immediately to my left was my son Jio. And to his left was my other son Keempee. Directly behind Jio was my daughter Jocas, who was also in red — but did not jump. To Jocas’ left was my wife Eileen and my son Jako. And si signore, I captured the incident in my video cam.

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We had our Christmas dinner with Bong’s family at L’ Eau Vive, a ristorante run by women of the cloth; puro mga madre from different parts of the world — from cooks to servers. As soon as we arrived, and as soon as somebody approached us and gave us the menu, I wanted to ask what order they belong, but I decided to keep my mouth shut — for fear I might get an answer like, “I’m sorry signore, that’s my linea — What is your order, Sir?”

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About three months ago, I was also in Italy when we shot an episode of Mel & Joey for our fifth anniversary presentation. We stayed in a hotel just across one of the four “Patriarchal” churches in Rome — The Basilica Di Santa Maria Maggiore. On Christmas Eve, Eileen and I returned to the Basilica with the kids for a timely visit. Below the altar are what some people believe to be relics from Jesus’ manger.

Earlier, we visited the Sistine Chapel at the Vatican Museum. As usual, no putok-graphy — walang maingay at walang kodakan.

Later in the afternoon we visited another Archbasilica — The San Giovanni In Laterano. And then at 3 p.m., we went to one of the most important Sanctuaries in Rome — The Scala Santa or The Holy Stairs. It takes its name from the 28 steps up which, as said in an old tradition, Jesus went to Praetor Pilate in Jerusalem during His Passion, and which got wet with His Precious Blood. Saint Helena, mother of the Emperor Constantine, transported it to Rome from Palestine. In memory of the Passion of Jesus, all faithful throughout the centuries have ever gone up this stairs, with devotion, on their knees.

Everybody in my family went up using their knees … except me. Actually, I seriously tried. But on the first step pa lang, ang sakit talaga! Matutulis kasi mga buto ko sa tuhod. And again, for security, este seniority reasons din. I just prayed hard na lang. Nakakahiya nga eh… Escalera pa naman ako.

Two days later, I heard my daughter Jocas talking, but not complaining, about few knee bruises, probably as a result of the climb. Eileen said, “Bakit ako, wala? Siguro mas mabait kasi ako?” To which Jocas shot back, “Hindi rin, siguro mas mataba lang kasi mga tuhod mo, mommy!” Ngek!