March Madness is in the air and if you're a fan of the US NCAA basketball, games are almost always stay-on-your-seat types. The big schools are making their mark but some newbies are eager to join the party. Most of the names we see on the back of their jerseys are unfamiliar but some names do stand out. These guys could be their team's star attraction or just an after-thought in the rotation.
Presenting the US NCAA athletes with interesting names:
Ivory White - He plays guard for Alabama State. Having your name with two different shades of white makes everyone think that this guy has a pearly porcelain skin. Oh my goodness, Ivory is blacker than a black cat in a coal bin on a dark moonless midnight. Try to Google his name and all you get are tooth-whitening web sites.
Dash Harris - Texas A&M's starting point guard, he gives justice to his name. He leads his team in assists and steals.
Hippololyte Tsafack - You'll have second thoughts if you wish to make fun of this guy's name. The Cameroonian native stands 6-8 and weighs 231 pounds. He plays for Memphis State.
First thing that comes to my mind are diarrhea and the oral rehydration solutions. In Greek mythology, Hippolyte is a godess, the daughter of Ares, the god of war.
Named after a Greek god, we better get Tsafack out of Hippolyte's way. Gets ninyo?
Fab Melo - Born Fabricio Paulino de Melo, the 7-foot Brazilian plays center for Syracuse University. It's worth mentioning also that a former Syracuse Orangeman now playing and ego-tripping with the New York Knicks also goes by the name of Melo.
Could be that Fab is a fan of Carmelo or he's literally-challenged thus shortening his name.
Jimmer Fredette - Currently the NCAA's top draw, he is also the nation's leading scorer. It's fun to watch the 6-2 shooting guard from Brigham Young University doing highlight-plays on a regular basis. Not since the time of Danny Ainge 31 years ago that BYU is again on national prominence.
Their game tonight is an excellent option from the Azkals non-televised game. Who knows, the generals ruling
Myanmar's military junta could be PBA fans. It's agonizing following the Azkals' game on FB via posted tweets.
The longest ever name in the NBA belongs to one of the tallest who played the game.
He is Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo. Thankfully, family and friends call him Deke. I think the Jean-Jacques was simply misplaced in translation.
Kobe Bryant's dad was called Jellybean. Why, I don't wanna know. Imagine if his father named him after another Japanese city, aside from Kobe. Nagasaki Bryant or perhaps Hiroshima Bryant. We could be hearing the play-by-play go like, "Hiroshima drops a three-point bomb. Boom!"
There are two names in the NFL that personally mystifies me. There's a wide receiver named Fair Hooker and a running back named Ben Gay. The former will give the ladies doing the night walk room to ponder. Maybe do discounts or buy-one-take-one on their tricks? The latter won't have a problem after games as he can just rub himself to get rid of the muscle aches. If you're named after a liniment, you can simply caress your pains away.
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It's women's month and I hate to let March pass without making some kind of tribute, no matter how absurd it might be. Imagine the world without women. I can't and I don't even want to think about it.
Whatever we give to a woman, she's going to multiply. We give her sperm, she gives us a baby. We give her a house, she gives us a home. We give her groceries, she'll give us a meal. We give her a smile, she'll give us her heart.
Whatever we give to her, she multiplies it and enlarges. So, if we give her crap, we will receive a bucket full of shit. Believe me, this is true.
Let us all love and appreciate all the women in our lives. Love your mom, love your wife, love your mom-in-law (especially), love your daughter. Any other woman will be life-threatening. You could wake up dead.