CEBU, Philippines - In marriage, you are not just committed to stay together under one roof. You can still live together and yet in your heart the marriage is over. Living under one roof doesn’t prove your commitment to the marriage. God doesn’t look whether you’re still living together as much as whether you’re still LOVING TOGETHER. When you say you’re committed, this is what it means:
1. You’re committed to LOVE. Love is a decision. Every time a revelation of your spouse’s negative side comes, you commit to LOVE him/her despite it all. You commit to not just love by theory, rather you’re committed to love through words, through affections, through appreciation. Even when the fiercest storm has just hit your relationship, you commit to SHOW LOVE by sleeping beside him/her, embracing your husband/wife even in the aftermath of a horrible fight. It is not a deliberate knowledge that you love him/her, but rather, you commit TO DISPLAY YOUR LOVE in whatever way possible. You are committed to love your spouse all the days of your life.
2. You’re committed to HONOR. Honor that is not just lip service, but honor from the heart; honor by how you perceive your spouse. You commit to put your spouse above your needs, to make him/her more important than yourself, to always consider him/her with the highest regard above all the other people you are in relationship with. You commit to HONOR your husband/wife even when the ugliest truth about him/her blatantly hits you on your face. You commit to HONOR.
3. You’re committed to SERVE. Even when you see that in the areas of life where you are at your best and he/she is at the bottom level of that area, you choose to go lower than the bottommost part and consider him/her better than yourself. You commit to SERVE. To show that he/she is still held in the highest regard, you dare to serve. Because humility is the greatest weapon against pride; and solitude against a boiling turmoil.
4. You’re committed to RESPECT. Respect your spouse through the times you see the “animal” side of him/her. Respect because although he/she is at the moment behaving like an animal, your spouse is still truthfully undeniably MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD. And for that, you hold your respect for him/her.
5. You’re committed to FORGIVE. It’s easy to forgive the small offenses, but when your highest expectations are met with the lowest realities of disappointments, remember the commitment you made on your wedding day and FORGIVE. You have committed to forgive even the gravest offense made or will be made by your spouse against you. And if it helps, imagine what could be the worst sin he/she can make against the Lord and against you, and decide even for that split second that YOU WILL STILL FORGIVE, because after all, YOU COMMITTED TO THIS VOLUNTARILY. No one forced you to it. You’re committed to forgive.
These are just a few of the big things you’ve committed to when you say your I DO’s at the altar. So when you’re about to walk down the aisle, or if you already have, remember, IT IS A LIFETIME COMMITMENT. (FREEMAN)