We all enjoy talking about the latest on our favorite pregnant celebrity. No big deal. But do you happen to enjoy it as much as you enjoy talking about the girl in your PE class, who according to the grapevine is dating your teacher?
Gossips are common in schools and even workplaces. It is like the special ingredient that makes your drink at lunch taste a lot better. Gossiping has become a habit to many of us that we often neglect to check on why we are doing this routine in the first place. If being the mysterious gossip girl, and having to say “xoxo” at the end of your story means superiority for you, think again. For some, a little gossip is the reason why going to school is such a torture, or why the office pantry is the worst food-serving place in the world. We may not all experience the trauma and ordeal of being a victim of some nonsense gossip, which is why talking about somebody else with the juiciest choice of words is just normal. Nevertheless, before you open your mouth and talk about how you just heard that your English teacher is accepting cash in exchange for good grades, ask yourself these questions:
Is it true?
Well yeah, you got the story from a “reliable source,” but how reliable is your source? Is he or she not the type who sensationalizes stories just to get attention? Or more importantly, doesn’t he or she have any grudge against the subject of the story? Admittedly, sometimes we cannot help keeping interesting stories to ourselves that we forget about evaluating the credibility of the storyteller or the story itself.
Is it harmless?
Just for the sake of feeling a little less guilty, we occasionally add remarks such as “I don’t know, but they say that…” or “I have nothing against her but its just odd that she…” Still, we are actually stirring up intrigue a notch higher. Try to think about how you might feel if you were in the person’s shoes, and don’t forget how stories are being revised each moment they are told.
Is it necessary?
Sometimes, the latest “chika” is just the only way to break boredom. C’mon, is there really nothing else to talk about? Instead of starting to talk about a story that you just heard from somebody who just heard it, why not talk about your plans for the day or about the Chinese food you just tasted over the weekend. That way, you can share a real interesting story.
If the answers for these are NO, then what is the point of relaying the story? Before repeating a story, and risking yourself from saying words just for the sake of making something sound better, think about the questions. According to Wikipedia, while gossip forms one of the oldest and most common means of spreading and sharing facts and views, it also has a reputation for the introduction of errors and other variations into the information transmitted. Thus, without our consciousness, gossip is any language that causes harm, pain, or confusion to another person. Almost all gossips are either outright lies or exaggerated, twisted versions of the truth. Usually, those who gossip jump to conclusions by falsely interpreting actions or quote something that was never said. These untruths or half-truths can be damaging to someone’s reputation. To save yourself from being the source of someone else’s torment, it is actually just as simple as this: if you have nothing good to say, then don’t say it.