Because it's summer, we've been having my niece Keona over often. My sister and her family live in an apartment complex, and while they have enough space for their family of three (the yaya makes up the third) and a half, they don't have enough space, and water, for Keona's plastic baby pool.
Keona's going to have her second birthday soon, and it's beginning to be clear why they call it “the terrible twos.” This early, I think at least three people are needed to watch over her properly, especially in our no longer so child-friendly house.
My mother, whom Keona has officially made a grandmother, doesn't have the energy to run after her anymore. I'm ashamed to admit it, but so do I. Maybe it's also because of the summer heat, but after an hour or two, I'd really just rather sit on the sofa, drink an ice cold glass of water, and watch her make a mess of the house. When I tell her not to play with something, say a big glass bowl filled with teeny-tiny seashells, she says matter-of-factly, “No.” Apparently, I'm not an authority figure to her. I don't know how to be. I mean, even my dog doesn't respect me.
Thank God she and her Ate Tintin understand each other. When I'm at a loss (and when she's made a number two in her nappies), I immediately turn her over.
I'm guessing this is why, when I was channel surfing one hot afternoon, I took a serious interest when I happened upon an episode of Nanny 911 on ETC 2nd Avenue. I'd previously ignored it, because promotional clips seemed to always show screaming, rude children who seemed to deserve some serious whipping.
Nanny 911 is a reality show wherein families spinning out of control with unruly children call for the help of professional nannies. If I'm not mistaken, they're all British. They're nothing like the most popular nanny of all, Mary Poppins—they do wear uniforms, but they're a little bit on the big side, so they look tough. They don't sing, dance, or fly in their big black umbrellas, so it's only towards the end that you get to really see how fun they are and how much they care. The four nannies appear to stay in the same Charlie's Angels-type house. Their “Charlie”is an older nanny, and she gets to assign which among the three nannies get to go to the house in question.
In the episode that I watched, a harried mother was just about to throw in the towel on her three boys, aged eight, six and three, and one daughter, a year old, but inflicted with Down Syndrome. Her husband ran some sort of repair and renovation business, but seemed to have his priorities askew. He was more of an absentee father, and their house, despite the nature of his business, wasn't finished yet. The children didn't have their own rooms, so they slept on their mother's bed. Their father slept on the couch. Needless to say, romance was non-existent.
The nanny was given one week to set things straight. After a day or two of observation, she proceeded to make a diagnosis—which turned out to be right. She told the father to reset his priorities, and while he was resistant at first, he immediately made a change. Their house was finished within the week, and he took on more fatherly responsibilities.
What was surprising was that the nanny managed to show the mom, who was the one who called for help, her part in the topsy-turvy family dynamics. While she'd previously thought she was a victim to her children's and husband's ungrateful behavior, it was revealed that she herself had contributed to it by always saying things like, “I give up!” and “I'm leaving you all!” and by never praising them for any good they did. In fact, when her husband took over for a day and did an excellent job at it, she only nitpicked at what he didn't do. She didn't even praise him for keeping the children quiet and helping them finish their homework—something she often failed to do.
The episode I watched was particularly interesting because it showed something I'd learned last year in the leadership seminars I took: As above, so below. When the parents finally got their act together, and started showing love and respect for each other, the children straightened up their own act as well.
Nanny 911 is not for everyone—especially people with low tolerance for screaming kids—but if you have any children, or if you're caring for at least one, you can get good, and most importantly, free advice from any of their excellent, rocking nannies.