Two men idling under a starry night
Make odes to the moon and bottled spirits like ale
Frothy with myths and fantastic claims
To a 7-year-old then, it sounded science that’s fair.
Mr. B: Beer comes from heaven,
Mr. C: So does the moon.
B dares “Beer can of course cure cancer!
C goes “The moon makes us crazier.”
“Beer has kinder alcohol than those from grapes,” B exclaims
C goes “The moon when we sleep, shines like an elegant dame.”
B adds that “Beer is made purely from plants!”
C says the moon has no gravity that glues earthlings to the ground like ants.
Eventually, I learned science from school and books
And from humans who can brew good science even in drunken nooks
So to those two drunken fellas if your cells are still awake
Here’s what I learned since those days you sat on that store by the lake.
The moon came from the Earth when it was hit
By a rock that rivals Mars’ size
Chunks came off, formed, and orbited its source
Tied by gravity to behold.
Beer also comes from the earth and from hops which grow in vines,
Mixed with grains like barley becoming sugar so fine
Yeast joins the mix turning those sweets to spirits.
Yeast is not plant or an animal but a fungi — that’s it!
Beer cannot cure cancer but it does have xanthahumol
It is some antioxidant that they say cure some ills if not all.
But you have to drink 450 liters a day to see an effect
So your heart may beat well but your liver’s wrecked.
The moon cannot make you crazier
Than humans already are
If your parents cannot control you a few feet away
Why bank on the moon 226,000 miles afar?
Alcohol is alcohol whether from beer or wine
Yes, beer may contain less per bottle,
Yet drinkers are known to just drink more
To make up for the latter.
The moon does not have light
Not like our sun, a certified star
The moon is an elegant dame from borrowed sunlight
When your part of the world’s not facing the sun.
I know those drinkin’ fellas will never read this versed mix
But who cares, I got to tickle your heads
And unhinge my brain
With facts on the moon and spirited ales.
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