It used to be single

I have heard speakers say, “Know your priorities.”

I have heard people say, “These are my priorities.”

There is nothing wrong with knowing your priorities, but something is off with saying “priorities.”

Let me start by explaining how there are certain things we do that we take for granted. But if we take the time to think about them, then we may just want to improve on them.

Allow me to give you an example. I have heard ministers and Bible study group leaders say, “Please turn your Bibles with me to the book of Psalms chapter 23.” There are no chapters in the Book of Psalms. This is why you do not say, “Turn to Psalm chapter 23.” You simply say, “Turn to Psalm 23.”

Another example. This phrase is popular with people: at this point in time. Many people accept this statement, but English grammarians say it’s redundant.

So now let’s get to our main point.

Strictly speaking, there is no such thing as “priorities.”

If you want to be focused, identify your “priority” and not “priorities.”

According to Rob Yeung, “There’s not a lot that separates the people who succeed from those who don’t.”

One of those things is people’s top priority. The important things in your life require your focus and attention. If you put in a lot of “priorities,” then you will be crowded with so many things and tasks that you will not be able to maintain focus. I have my priority. That is my main thing. The rest I may still call priorities but they certainly do not maintain primacy.

In his book The New Rules of EQ: Using emotional intelligence to get ahead, Yeung suggests a method for keeping your priorities in check. Here’s what you do:

Get a sticky note pad. List your priorities, one item for every sheet. Arrange your sticky notes. Put the most important item at the top of your list, followed by the second most important, and so on.  Keep arranging the list until you are satisfied with the ordering.

What about tied rankings? Here’s what he has to say:

“You are not allowed to have any tied rankings. Life is often about making trade-offs. There are only 24 hours in the day and much as we might like to do it all, the reality is that we can’t. But feel free to add further priorities to the list. If there is something that is of particular importance to you, do include it.”

Look at your accomplished list.  Once you find it to your satisfaction, you should have a better idea of what motivates you. Being aware of your priority, your one thing, will allow you to make better decisions.

You’re probably saying, “But there are just so many important things I need to do and accomplish in life.” Well then let’s do another exercise suggested in The New Rules of EQ. This may sound creepy, but as long as you stay with me, you will later on see the wisdom of the exercise.

Imagine a gathering of your family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances mourning by the side of a coffin—your coffin. Your best friend reads the eulogy. What would you want him or her say?

The exercise therefore is simple: write a eulogy about you.

How would you like to be remembered? At the end of your life, what would you like people to say about how you lived? Get a blank sheet of paper and get writing.

• How would you like a close friend to describe you at your funeral? Will he or she say good things about you or would he or she be happy you are finally gone? Be as detailed as possible.

• Think about your professional life. Refer to your list from the priorities exercise. What would you like colleagues to say about how you are professionally?

• What about your most important relationships? Your family? Would they be so excited wanting to divide the loot you leave behind or would they miss you because they love you?

“This exercise is about identifying what is really important to you – so don’t include priorities because you think you need to. Include them only if you want to,” Yeung writes.

I don’t know about you, but my main priority is to love God with all of my heart, soul, strength and mind, my family comes next and all other things below them. What’s yours?

“Connect with Francis Kong through his Facebook page www.facebook.com/franciskong2 and receive daily inspiring posts every day.”