Forget vampires, witches and werewolves. In the orange-hued run-up to Halloween, still a week or so away, I find that the best costumes are ghastly and ghoulish in a less predictable way.
With so much going on in pop culture, expect the accompanying outfit ideas to be just as plentiful. Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj and Katy Perry are always copy-ready, for example, as they have enough merry disguises — from meat dresses to whipped cream-shooting bras — to prop up the global trick-or-treating industry. What about coming as a pregnant R&B diva? Beyoncé’s look at the 2011 VMAs is still on-trend enough: Just stuff a fake baby bump under a tuxedo shirt, cover up with a sequined jacket and rub your belly like you cleared out the buffet. And though she may have already passed, it’s likely that Amy Winehouse — through her beehived doppelgängers — will be attending many Halloween mixers next weekend.
On the other hand, if production value is not so high on your list of priorities, you can choose to come as Charlie Sheen, one of this year’s
headline-hogging characters. Grab a pair of khakis, a Two and a Half Men-style bowling shirt and a bottle of booze. The idea may sound lazy, but it’s not as lazy as saying you’re a college student and not dressing up at all for your All Hallow’s Eve shenanigans. See, no one likes that guy. I’ve been that guy. Put on a ragetoon or trollface mask at the very least.
Partying Pairs
While nothing will probably be as adorable as Kelly Osbourne’s and now ex-fiancé Luke Worrall’s matching bacon and eggs outfits from Halloween 2009, those who prefer partying as a pair can go the William and Kate route: a red military suit adorned with medals for him and a prim white wedding dress for her. (The Duchess of Cambridge isn’t as sartorially exciting as, say, Princess Beatrice and her pretzel hat — the fallopian-tube-looking creation of British milliner Philip Treacy — but she is current.) Or vice-versa, if you want to shake things up.
Then there’s also Kurt and Blaine, and Brittany and Santana, from Glee. That said, don’t forget Bieblena. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have been absolutely ubiquitous in 2011 and are ripe for a tribute — or parody, depending on how you see the world. Chuck in a litter of babies for a Brangelina 2.0 effect.
Groups of four or more shouldn’t encounter any costume trouble either. You and your pals can imitate the reality three-ring circus known as the Kardashians. Even with her tight dress, platform heels, fake eyelashes and three-lane butt, Kim is the easiest one to ape of the lot, so why not be Bruce Jenner, trapped-in-a-wind-tunnel look and all? When all else fails, show up as a flock of Angry Birds.
From Silicon Valley To Wall Street
If you’re still not over the death of Steve Jobs, Halloween may be the perfect time to pay your respects in a not-so-serious way. His penchant for mock turtlenecks and stonewashed dad jeans is now legendary, so it comes as no surprise that clothing companies are trying to cash in on his fashion legacy. Knitcraft Corp. claimed that the fallen Apple CEO favored their $175 St. Croix turtlenecks when in reality, Jobs wore custom creations by the Japanese designer Issey Miyake.
To really show that you’re aware of what’s going on in the world, aim for a satirical get-up. Mimicking your favorite Middle Eastern tyrant is now easy thanks to the Daffy Gaddafi Mask floating online. Nothing is stopping you, however, from masquerading as a Wall Street protester, one of the unwashed 99 percent, or an actual Wall Street sign. For the latter you would need to surround yourself with slogan-chanting, placard-waving friends to complete the scene.
Again this takes commitment, but think of the amazing Halloween photos. Go forth and collect candy!
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E-mail: ginobambino.tumblr.com.