Where you long to belong

We all want to belong or be part of a group. It is an instinctive aspect of being human. It allows the social interactions that challenge us to make ourselves better as we seek to work or live in harmony with the group. When we look at our lives, we find that we hold membership in various types of groups: our social group, the church group, charity groups – our work/career group, special interest group where we share a common passion such as mountaineering, sports, dancing, advocacy with the other members. We move freely in and out of these groups. The length of each stay is dependent on the links we have forged within. We are held in these groups by two major incentives. First, for the passion we have for the activities we share. And second, because of relationships that link us deeper together. The first aspect is easily handled through life, as this is a voluntary membership that can last only for as long as you can keep your interest there. You don’t find people staying on with their badminton buddies when golf suddenly takes their fancy. Or keep at the mahjong table when the interest is not at all there. Let us also not forget the druggie group, or the alcoholics group, even the food binge group, all otherwise known as our addiction groups. These special interest groups are fluid in our lives, and through the stages of our lives. They shift and change just as we find in ourselves the need to grow and learn skills, create new adventures and understand ourselves through the determination, discipline, demands of the special interest group. While immersed in here, we are challenged to ask ourselves: What is the highest potential I can strive for with my talent? How do I relate my creativity to see that everything I am and can do with my membership in the special interest group is pure potential? What kind of energy do I bring to the group? One that is positive that seeks to bring harmony, awareness, joy and fun? Or one that is dependently afraid and seeks the group for affirmation of the ego/self? It allows us to see our place in the world, and how we measure our sense of power. We know our membership in these groups is positive and life-affirming when we find ourselves growing more positive, and challenged for our highest potential to come out. When we use the group as a crutch to prevent our own personal growth, when fear and personality dramas create negative issues, conflict, and stagnation in one’s comfort zone – then this obviously is a great hindrance to one’s growth.

When we form relationships in the special interest group, we challenge each other’s capabilities and talents. Soon, one or a number of other people in that group become firm friends, and relationships are born, moving growth to a more personal and karmic level of closer learning from each other. In relationship to them, you ask, what is your highest potential for generosity and understanding? For your compassionate self to come forth? What is your highest potential when it comes to empowering another?

The second group is a karmic connection, which is the group we were born into. This is the nation, societal class level and family clan groups. These dictate specific and very obvious boundaries that force us to access our ego. These are the comfort zones which through our life, we struggle or are challenged to break away from. For example, we know how difficult it is now abroad to sell ourselves as Filipinos. It is racial pride that we seek to reach, in a world that sees us as third/fourth world citizens. We struggle with social classes, with discriminations that go with belonging to the poorer class, or ego and control issues of the affluent class.

In our family and clan system, we are challenged to take our individuality seriously, or stagnate within the dictates of tradition and family karma. There is great evolutionary and spiritual work required as members of these groups. The challenge is to break away from the boundaries that define them, and seek our own individual and truthful expression. The challenge is often marked by pain as we have to break judgmental mindsets and traditions. We all know of the internal struggle of someone who is gay and cannot tell his family. Or the racial pain we feel as a nation as we seek our country moving towards greater poverty and corruption. Or how about the individual example of a young activist’s advocacy for the environment while knowing his father’s business is illegal logging? I characterize membership into this group as working with invisible forces like pain, angst, desire to get beyond the confines of what they were born with, and work towards growth and awareness. When we feel this angst inside, we are pushed to do something for ourselves, which in turn affects the group for good.

There is a third group that not everyone is aware of. This is the soul group. Membership here is marked by an advocacy for higher things that seek to make the world a much better, purer place to be in. The soul group nurtures the entire human soul, or the soul of the world. Thus, we can include here environmental groups, charitable groups, scientific groups, prayer and spiritual healing groups, artistic groups that seek to bring beauty to life through music, form, dance and word. The Master Jesus put it perfectly, "whatever you do to the least of my brothers, you do unto me." These are the groups that are dedicated to serving humanity, that seek to develop the capacity of the world to enjoy the true, the good, the beautiful. We get connected to our soul group only when we ourselves have evolved into the better, higher and more conscious part of ourselves. And when we dedicate our spirits, actions, thoughts towards seeking out our soul group, we will inevitably find these people who will further work with us to help us attain our individual life mission. A greater purpose, a soul purpose of one’s mission is answered by being part of our soul group. It is because like attracts like, and together, the group becomes a dynamic force to do something beyond just one’s self or family. This group can be the channel through which an entirely new understanding or reality can emerge.

So as you reflect on your life, ask yourself, what is the group you are working in now?