When things go wrong

Ben filed a spousal petition for his wife, Elsa a few months after he obtained his green card. It was a rather long and tortuous immigration journey for him. A few years ago, he came to the US through his mother's petition. And because his petition would automatically be voided if he did not remain single, they decided not to get married until he migrated to the US. When he had saved enough, he went back to the Philippines and they finally tied the knot.

His petition was pending for about three years due to delays during the COVID-19 pandemic. All along this time when they were physically away from each other, they maintained their relationship through daily chats and calls, exchanging gifts and cards and maintaining a joint bank account. Ben was never delinquent in sending monthly financial support to Elsa and even paying for her to finish Nursing school. When USCIS finally took a look at his petition, they issued a Request for Evidence (RFE) asking for more evidence about their marital relationship. When Ben asked Elsa if she could send copies of their bank statements, money transfer receipts, etc., he felt that Elsa was reluctant to do so. She had many reasons why she could not produce these documents until Ben confronted her if she even really wanted to come to the US and live with him.

It was at this point that Elsa admitted that she no longer wants to come to the US. She felt that she can no longer share the same dreams with Ben and more shockingly, she felt that their marriage is no longer working. Ben begged her to change her mind and give their marriage a chance. He assured her that once they are finally living together in the US, things will be different and that they can work it out. But Elsa was adamant and insisted that she wants to remain in the Philippines and that she already retained a lawyer to file for an annulment.

At this point, Ben gave up. As soon as he came back to the US, he filed for divorce. He also wrote a letter to the USCIS informing them that he is not going to respond to the RFE and that he is no longer interested in pursuing the petition. The USCIS responded and granted his request for withdrawal.

This is only one example of countless sad stories that I have encountered when things do not go well as planned. When couples are far away, separated by time and distance and lack of personal physical presence, there is always that challenge of keeping the relationship alive and healthy. I have seen other cases where even a few days before the consulate interview, the couples decided to separate and the petitioner had to advise the consulate that he is withdrawing the petition. Unfortunate but true.

There are a lot of lessons to be learned here. Of course, it is always difficult to maintain a long distance relationship. Difficult but not impossible. Couples must find a way to maintain the marital union despite the challenges. With modern technology nowadays, there are a myriad of ways to still connect and keep the love alive.

One last note, it is also very important to inform the USCIS if there are changes to your circumstances that may impact the petition. Situations such as annulment, divorce, death, and even irrevocable decisions such as in Ben's case. It is better to be honest to USCIS about it than to defraud and misrepresent in your petition/application. Marriage fraud is a very serious offense and US laws impose very hefty fines and harsh penalties when you are found guilty to have committed it.