Gaita taught us good taste, and taught JFK Jr. how to play backgammon

The “unexpected” death of celebrated chef and restaurateur Margarita “Gaita” Fores early this week at the relatively young age of 65 was a jolt to us all about the uncertainty of life, of how tomorrow is never promised, and of why we must live the moment.

Her life and her sudden death also showed that we may not have time to prepare our legacy, but those who live their lives with excellence and kindness reap the best tributes and memories, with no buts — from family, friends, even strangers whose lives they’ve touched.

“Gaita was a gentle giant,” said Angeli Pangilinan-Valenciano, a close friend of Gaita’s sister Veana. “She towered in the kitchen but never raised her voice even under pressure.”

“Her work, aside from her son Amado, was the love of her life,” added Angeli when I asked her to describe Gaita,  who she knew since the latter was a teenager. “She was so passionate about it, it wasn’t a career to her. Working in the kitchen may be considered a ‘dirty’ job, but she made it look so classy.”

Gaita also had a bright smile whenever you bumped into her — even if you caught her in the midst of work.

“Gaita was always sweet! She said hello or acknowledged you even if she was busy or in the middle of work,” recalled her friend Andie Recto.

Gaita graduated college with a degree in Accounting, as she had thought she would eventually work in the family’s real estate business. Her mother was the late Baby Araneta Fores, whose father Amado Araneta developed Cubao and built the fabled Araneta Coliseum.

But Gaita followed her heart to Italy, where for six months she immersed herself in its culture and cooking, learning not from a culinary school, “but from the most authentic teachers of all: three Italian signoras who taught cooking right out of their own homes,” according to an article in PeopleAsia magazine. Ten years after her return to Manila, she opened Cibo, from an Italian word that means “food” or “nourishment.”

She also once told the magazine why females make good chefs. “I really think that when you ask chefs, they will always tell you that it was their mom’s or their lola’s cooking that inspired them. It’s where they get their inspiration and their creativity from, those childhood memories. In the end, it’s still the women. And I always say that the maternal instinct to feed and nurture is something that only women will understand. I think that is what gives me the fulfillment with the work that I do.”

“You were always an inspiration even before I went into the food business,” wrote Johanna Garcia of RGTK, another classy endeavor, in a post on Instagram. “I was constantly amazed by your vision, your artistry and everything you created in various arenas and always ahead of everyone else.

“I loved how Cibo made Italian cuisine accessible to all without ever cheapening its flavor profiles, how you advocated for and incorporated local ingredients into haute cuisine before everyone else did, and even when everyone else was doing it, still managed to do it better.

“The food, the flowers, the gorgeous restaurants were incredibly impressive, but all still paled in comparison to your kindness, grace, and huge heart that touched the lives of so many beings, both human and of the four-legged variety. You could easily have been a dilettante squandering your unique gifts and your privilege, but instead, you used them to make the world more beautiful, more delicious and a happier place for everyone whose lives you touched.

“You will be sorely missed, but the constellation of lives you touched with your food and your warmth is your legacy, and it will shine bright for generations to come.”

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Gaita’s late father Dr. Raul Fores was one of the founders of the Makati Medical Center, and even while he was president of the renowned medical institution, tended to the poorest of the poor, like the wards of the Mother Teresa Missionaries of Charity.

Gaita herself was known to support feeding kitchens and was a volunteer at ICanServe, an advocacy group for cancer patients and survivors. Gaita had survived two bouts with cancer.

As a cousin, Gaita was “caring,” according to her first cousin Sarina, daughter  of Dr. Fores’ brother Dingie.

“Despite her popularity and fame and growing up with a silver spoon, she never forgot her roots and that family was very important to her. She remained humble always. As a caring cousin, she never failed to add her touch to our numerous family gatherings. Details were important to her.

“When my mom passed, she made sure we all had cold towels passed around by her staff to beat the heat during the funeral. Imagine, this was way back in 2006. I would not even think of those small details,” shared Sarina.

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My favorite memory of Gaita is the one she shared about my idol, John F. Kennedy Jr., when I asked her if she once hang out with the late American royal.

“In NYC in the late ‘70s,” recalled Gaita. “We had common friends. Sam Eduque and I taught him how to play backgammon. We spent a weekend at my former boss Alfonso Telese’s place in Garrison, New York. Alfonso is a super close friend of my mom, and he used to manufacture the furs for Valentino. I got my job at Valentino because of him. My cousin, Jorge Yulo, was with us that weekend, too.”

I asked her how JFK Jr. was like, considering his looks, his lineage, his star power.

“No airs at all. He was a super regular guy, unassuming,” said Gaita. “You would think all the Kennedys know everything, right? So we were surprised that he didn’t know how to play backgammon and he asked us to teach him.”

And that is probably how a multitude would remember Gaita, too, “No airs at all.”

My last memory of Gaita was of her radiant in a terno at the Ternocon at the PICC late January, a glass of white wine in one hand. I asked a waiter for a glass of what Gaita was having and she followed up my request — I think Cibo was catering that night.

As in most soirees, one flowed with the crowd but we finally caught up again. A waiter with my glass of white wine was beside Gaita, waiting for me.

Here’s to you, Gaita! *