From those know-it-alls during meetings to those folks who just won’t leave your stapler alone, the workpace is surprisingly full of the same people you loved and loved to hate back in school. Young STAR lists down a couple of individuals you might meet (and want to avoid) in the office.
MANILA, Philippines - If you think you’ve left these archetypes behind the moment you got your diploma, well, you haven’t. They’re familiar to you by now, and are going to be recurring characters — maybe just evolved versions — that will inevitably creep up in your workplace. You know what they say: high school never ends.
The office BFF is that person everyone lovingly raves about at the pantry over lunch. “Aww, I love ____! She is so sweet/charismatic/funny. And were you able to try the cupcakes she baked the other day? Did you know she could play the organ too? So well-rounded.†Your best bet as the most likely to cover for you and give you the whole Season 2 of House of Cards without having to download it yourself. This person is your Jennifer Lawrence.
This person comes on to you in the guise of friendly concern, but really he’s tracking you — actually, trying to run as fast or past you — in his invisible race. Like your high school seatmate who constantly compared your test scores, the Double Checker likes to keep tabs on your progress to size you up, most likely to validate that he’s still doing so much better than you.
The Debbie Downer
Serial whiner. Expectations are too high, workload too heavy, pay is a bust. While this may all be true at some workplaces, Debbie Downers like to drill this mindset into everyone else’s. Natural politicians, they are — they know that discontent is contagious, and can propel this idea around like a flu bug. Rebels without a cause.
The Passive-Aggressive can be your boss or your fellow subordinate, and they approach confrontation by taking as many corners as they can until you don’t know their point anymore. They are not forthright and have the ability to put you in a bind if it’s convenient for them. A passive-aggressive boss, for example, will express his disappointment by seemingly taking some of the responsibility. Sample email lines: “My sincerest apologies for assuming we had an understanding.†Say what?!
The Gossip Girl
Or boy. Or gay. This person knows the last time you had a date, how many siblings you have, and your thoughts on the latest Piolo movie. And not just you, but everyone else’s, too. They’re not necessarily people you should steer clear from, as long as they don’t use their intel to advance themselves. If they’re the type to pounce at an opportune time, run. Run very fast. Or just don’t get drunk on karaoke night and tell them about your life.
The Staple Stealer
The Staple Stealer needs a log sheet for all the supplies he’s borrowed without having returned any. Really, the next time you will see your pen is when you’re seated across each other at your weekly meeting.
The Goody Two-Shoes
Tracy Flick in the flesh. Your boss’s pet — the eyes and the ears along the ladder of success. Volunteers for pretty much everything and earnestly vows that they can handle it (and most of the time they do). Trust that they are always first in line for promotion, but can you blame them? They make the rest of us look so inadequate.
The Veteran hates your guts and doesn’t think your ideas will fly. They think you’re too entitled, too upfront about what you want, and too quick to quit when the going gets tough. They are all over that Millennial stigma that they picked up from Time.com. Try your best to prove them wrong. Art by ANA ZAMORA