Love, timing and the Taxi Cab Theory

If the timing is perfect, should it be the only basis for a person to commit to a relationship? What about love? Maturity? Stability? If you are starting a relationship with someone, both of you must be ready to put in extra effort for it to work and sustain for a long time to the point of marriage.

Miranda Hobbes, a character portrayed by actress Cynthia Nixon, once remarked cynically in an episode of the award-winning American television series “Sex and the City,” “Men are like cabs. When they’re available, their light goes on. They awake one day and decide they’re ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. Next woman they pick up, boom! That’s the one they’ll marry.” This is how Miranda views men when it comes to commitment and marriage.

This perception is popularly known as the Taxi Cab Theory (or Cab Light Theory). It alludes that love is not entirely based on the length of the relationship, but rather when a man is ready to commit and settle down. It suggests that like cabs with multiple destinations, men go through different relationships until they reach the phase when they are already prepared to get married to whoever the woman they are with at that time. This shows the importance of timing.

This so-called theory or assumption has been mentioned several times on social media, especially when long-time couples suddenly separate and the man is the first to date or tie the knot with another woman. Netizens have various comments on failed relationships of famous personalities who they thought were destined to be together forever because of the long years they spent as couples.

However, the Taxi Cab Theory also indicates gender stereotyping. Men are shown to be uncommitted despite being in a serious relationship for a long time. It is as if he solely holds the key in a relationship on when to get married and have a family. The theory implies that women wait until the men are ready enough to commit themselves to marriage. They are depicted as passive when making decisions on settling down that are based only on men’s timelines.

In real life, men and women and LGBT people want to have serious and committed relationships with their partners. It takes two to tango for a relationship to flourish and remain strong. It is not just about proper timing but also about finding the right person to spend the rest of one’s life with.

If the timing is perfect, should it be the only basis for a person to commit to a relationship? What about love? Maturity? Stability? If you are starting a relationship with someone, both of you must be ready to put in extra effort for it to work and sustain for a long time to the point of marriage.

We often see online comments like “pinagtagpo pero di tinadhana” regarding break-ups. Relationships can indeed crumble like a sand castle no matter how short or long the couple has been together. They grow apart, fall out of love, enjoy different interests, have frequent and irreconcilable arguments, or lack of mutual respect and trust for each other.

Miranda Hobbes retorts in “Sex and the City”: “They can drive around for years picking up women and not be available.”

Contrary to the Taxi Cab Theory, there are men who marry their first love and build a happy family. Some even marry their high school sweethearts. A man may not necessarily have to go through various romantic relationships until he finally realizes that it is time to settle down.

The same goes for a woman. When a man believes he has found the right woman, he will be ready to ask her hand in marriage at the right time. And this also goes for LGBT people.

Let us remember that love is a wonderful feeling. It knows no distance, social status, nationality, age, and gender. As I always say, gay love is equal to all forms of human love.

True love and finding “The One” can motivate the decision to settle down. The connection and compatibility between the couple surpass concerns about timing. Other factors like trust, respect, good communication, and financial state could also play roles in one’s decision to tie the knot but love will always be an essential part of a successful and long-lasting relationship.

Getting married is a lifelong commitment. Couples need to continuously work hard and nourish their relationship from the beginning so it can grow and eventually lead to a happy marriage. Timing alone is not the sole deciding factor when it comes to commitment and settling down.