Faulty assumptions

The story is about a young preacher going to do his first funeral service at a little countryside cemetery. He got lost trying to find the cemetery and was an hour late. He sees the grave dug, assumes it is the place, goes over, and is surprised that they already had the coffin in the encasement.

The gravediggers were already having lunch over by the backhoe and dump truck. So he takes out his Bible and starts preaching, and the workers say, “Amen, praise the Lord. Hallelujah.” Encouraged, he preached for two and a half hours.

So, he walked back to his car, opened the door, took off his jacket to put it in the seat, and heard one of the men say, “Man, I have been installing septic tanks for 15 years, and I have never seen anything like this.”

This is a classic case of maintaining wrong assumptions. This greenhorn preacher would have avoided the mistake had he taken the time to ask first.

Most people can achieve success if they let go of their faulty assumptions and beliefs that hold them back. Over the many years of my leadership and personal development training, I have seen these incorrect assumptions maintained by many potentially talented people that have held them back from achieving career and professional success.

1. “If I do this and fail, everyone will laugh at me and judge me.”

The truth is that people’s opinion does not define your career and future, and failures and mistakes are always part of the success equation. What is inevitable failure is not attempting at all? And by the way, you may have an overblown imagination thinking that other people are so fixated on what and how you do. You may not even matter to them in the least.

2. “I want to quit my job because I am no longer happy.”

Happiness is not a pursuit; it is a by-product of doing the right things and being productive. Please show me a job or company you join that will always make you happy, and I can assure you that you can never find one.

When you come across statements from people saying “how happy they are at work such that they never for a moment think they were working at all” and all that stuff. The missing link is that they have gone through learning and mastering their craft and are reaping the rewards for their discipline and sacrifice. Today they are productive and producing results.

3. “I am just too old for that.”

If you come across people who would say, “All this digital stuff, I am just too old to learn all these new things.” You might want to ask: “So, how old are you today without knowing this digital stuff? And how old would you be should you start learning them?”

You can either grow old ignorant about stuff, or you still grow old becoming more knowledgeable and able. And by that time, you get invigorated by your new ability and knowledge, making you feel young and relevant again.

4. “I am afraid I will never be good enough.”

You first must ask yourself, “good enough for what?” But when you go through the process, make mistakes, and learn from them, all these cumulative experiences build you up for later success.

This next one, for me, is the biggest bummer. And this is a downer.

5. “But I’m ‘too good for this’ or ‘This is beneath me.’”

Too good? Compared to who or what? You are never too good to ask for help, take advice or go through a mentoring or training program. Serving and doing some dirty jobs are “beneath you?” As I often say in my leadership training: “If you think that serving is beneath you, then leadership is beyond you.”

What brought about these kinds of faulty assumptions? Perhaps as they carry things, deal with customer complaints, spend hours filling forms or cleaning up messes, they feel that they are too good to be doing these. They may have had unrealistic expectations, being told by their parents in their growing-up years that they were intelligent and gifted and, with little effort, would become somebody’s boss. Maybe they have listened and believed those dumb, inexperienced, and foolish motivational speakers dishing out well-worn-out cliches like, “Follow your dreams!” “Believe in yourself.” “Pursue your passion,” or... this one I hate the most... “You can be a millionaire,” or “You deserve to be happy!”

Do not carry these faulty assumptions, and do not fall in love with these lies. Seek the truth instead. Read biographies of great men. Understand that there is no such thing as instant success.

I posted this in my social media spaces and got many responses: “Success always involves a process. There is no instant result. Do not be impatient. Be disciplined.” And somebody says: “I have never come across anybody who eats the fruit the day he or she plants the seed.”

(Francis Kong’s podcast “Inspiring Excellence” is now available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or other podcast streaming platforms.)